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What's the Dumbest thing you've heard while Looting?:rofl:

B

bdahunter

New member
When we are down at the beach enjoying some surf pirating we tend to run into folks that, to quote Art Linkletter, "Say the darnedest things". I'll give you a couple of examples from some of the folks I have met while hunting.

"Is that water wet"? (this from a tourist that had just got off the cruiseship and couldn't believe the surreal colour of the Bermuda waters)

"Does that thing really work"? (this from virtually every person that I have done a return for, usually about 5 minutes into my search for their lost ring)

"That's the same thing as stealing"! (this from the wife of a fellow surf pirate, when we were comparing loot after a good hunt - I always thought she was a bit daft anyways)

I've got to think there are lots of other crazy things that are heard on the beaches when we are out hunting. So what's the dumbest thing you've heard?
 
While walking over to the beach, a teenager unabashedly asked my buddy and I if we could detect drugs with our excals. He said he had lost several little bags of cocaine near his towel and was wondering if our machines would pick them up. Talk about dumb. Let me set my sensitivity to "Scarface."

Another time at like two o'clock in the morning a very large man summoned us up to the dry sand and asked us if we'd like to meet Brittany Spears. What a silly question!!! "Hell yes!" my buddy exclaimed. It turned out that the big dude was her bodyguard, and we really did meet Brittany Spears. She was staying at the Royal Palm and had seen our headlamps. She was giddy and really nice. She wanted a picture with us on her cell phone, and even told us that she had always wanted a metal detector. CRAZY!! Sometimes geeks hit the big time!

The coup de grace of stupid questions occurred several years ago, when I was a little leaner and better looking. A very attractive, dark skinned Hispanic woman waved me out of the water and asked me if I would marry her for $10,000!!!! I couldn't believe it. I demurely told her I was already married and jumped back in just shaking my head. In hindsight, though, that question doesn't seem so dumb anymore. I could really use the money now!!!!!:lol:
 
Back in about 1986 we were digging up to our necks in water, next to a bridge, in the river Avon, in Salisbury UK. WE often had people walking over the bridge stop to chat or ask what we were looking for etc. But one afternoon we overheard to old Lady's standing on the bridge, The 1st lady says to the other "what do you think they are looking for?" to which the other lady replied "I THINK THERE DIGGING FOR RABBITS! nearly 25 years ago and i still cant believe how dumb some people are
 
Tater and I were hunting at a park located in a small town in the middle of nowhere, CA, when a teenage boy, probably 13 or 14, came up to me and asked me what I was doing. "I'm metal detecting," I replied. He then asked what I was looking for. "Why gold of course!" I told him. He then said, "Well, gold's not a metal." I looked at him carefully to see if he was kidding, but his face was serious. I said, "Um, yes it is..." He replied, "No, it's not." This went back and forth a couple of times before the teenager's friend looked at him like he was dumb and said, "Yeah, it is." Since his friend confirmed it, he stopped arguing with me.

The last beach we were at a young boy of about 5 wandered up to me to ask what I was doing. I gave him my standard reply. Right then, I hit on a quarter and dug it up. "What'd you find?" he asked. I showed him the quarter. He then asked if he could have it to which I replied, "No." He then launched in to a story about how his mom is sick and needed an operation and all they needed was one more quarter to help pay for it. A con artist at the ripe age of 6. He then asked if he could use my metal detector to find money and that it wasn't fair that he didn't have one and that I had two (I had my pinpointer with me and had made the mistake of showing him how it worked...). I finally had to move to another location as he was like a duck on a june bug.

Nugget
 
I was on the beach detecting while on vacation, had someone ask me if my detector would detect paper money too.
 
While water hunting get asked is that waterproof? my answer is, I sure hope so! Also, What are you hunting for, crabs or fishing? Have had several girls ask if it would detect a pierced object on their bodies and insisted me to pass the coil over them so they could hear. One ever showing the placement of one.:surprised:
 
I was detecting the beach last summer when a girl about ten years old started following me around. The coins were plentiful that day and she suggested: "How about one for you and one for me?" This got a little old so I bribed her go away by giving her two quarters I had found. Five minutes later she came running up to me and told me she had lost them. She started following me around again and just so happened to be right there when a gold band came out. She said" I want a ring!" I tried to explain to her that that was what I was really searching for and that I was going to keep it. She started crying. As the saying goes: No good deed goes unpunished.

Harvdog
 
(I shared this story with Find's Story Telling Forum last year and I thought you Fellow Hunters would appreciate it.)

In those early years there were so many opportunities to observe humanity that I sometimes think perhaps it was a mistake to shelve my detectors. I could have had enough material for a book by now. During the summer swimming season there was always an antic to watch and sometimes participate in. People seem to think that you are part of the experience of the beach and have no qualms about getting in your way or asking foolish questions, such as "Find anything good?", as if you are going to tell them the truth or better yet, "Can I see what you've found?" as they reach for your container of miscellaneous trash.

Any self-respecting treasure hunter worthy of the name knows better than to put his valuable finds in with the junk he is removing from the swim area. My usual reply to either query is to show the person the container of flotsam and jetsam I'm removing from the water "To make their swimming safe" and if I play it right I'll get a heart felt thank you from them. One lady got teary eyed at the thought of my civic generosity or perhaps she was just a sensitive sort and I suppose the booze I smelled may have played a part. When a particularly aggressive sort got too close I would suggest that the sharp end of the scoop I was digging with would be hard on bare, wet toes and that I would not be responsible if they accidental became victim by venturing too close; also that as I was focusing on the sounds in my earphones I would not be able to hear what they were saying.

One obviously intoxicated woman staggered her way out to where I was digging and I warned her not to step in the hole by getting too close. Her antics were so funny it was almost a pleasure to be accosted by her. I had to stop and explain what I was doing and to show her some of the things I had found. She asked for a small object of junk jewelry I had found and I happily gave it to her and sent her on her way. She staggered to the steep incline at the waters edge and couldn't walk out of the water because of her "condition". On all fours she crawled out to where she could stand upright with swimsuit hanging below her rather large rear end, mooning me, everyone else in the water and all of the north shore of Long Island, New York!

Somehow she kept her footing and made her way up the beach to her blanket and friends still clutching her prize. Along the way she managed to recover her modesty somewhat by dragging the sagging garment up over her ample caboose.

Sun, sandy beach and alcohol can set the stage for all sorts of comedy and as we know tragedy.

A little over a year ago I bought a new detector and "got out there" again and I am always watching for these experiences that are a part of this wonderful hobby.

Thanks BDA for kicking this off,

CJ
 
I was hunting one day at a tot lot this boy about 10 was following me ,every-time i hit a coin he would jump down grab it before I could get it .He looked at me and said it sure is my lucky day.I told him it was his luck day because I hadn't pinched his head off yet,his Dad heard me and came got him
 
While working chest deep waters with my Excal I encountered a father and son. The boy asked his father what I had on my head........he responded "I don't know, I think she has something wrong with her ears and can't get them wet"...........:wacko:
 
"How do you catch fish in that bucket? Or is that just for clams?" (pointing to my scoop)......No I'm not making that up. Being the smart ass that I am I replied that " I lure the fish in close using sound waves (holding up the detector) and them I bash their tiny heads in (holding up scoop)...it takes a while but I'm really patient!"
 
One night, Real late low tide, Very little moon and I see this young guy coming towards me with two girls and all three are blasted. Guy get's closer and starts hollering" HEY MISTER" "HEY MISTER" I keep swinging, they keep following , still hollering , so I Stop take my phones off and ask him what the problem is? What you doin he asks? I answer Detecting. He says "Oh I Thought you were blind and your headed for the water. It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. Then I told him he was an Idiot

He thought I was swinging a cane
 
Thanks guys, Many of these brought a smile to my face and some made me laugh out loud. After years of detecting you would think that I would have lots of stories. Either I have a bad memory or...uh...um.............darn it, forgot what I was going to say. :|
 
Once, I was down at Padre Island TX., detecting in about three foot of water. I could see these three mexican kids about 11 to 13 yrs old submerged up to there eyes. as if I couldn't see them. Right!
well they slowly surrounded me, and I didn't look at them. They were taking mouth fulls of water and letting it run back out of their mouths. they did this till they got with in two feet of me, which I had stopped and just stood there looking straight ahead. they keep sucking up the ocean water and kinda shooting it through their teeth, finally one of them ask, what are you doing? I looked down at him and his mouth went back underwater, I said right this minute? he raised his head and said yeah, I said Peein' ! You never seen three kids run out of the water to the water faucet so fast in your life. I had to bite a hole in my lip to keep from laughing out loud. I wasn't really, but they didn't know that. They never came around me the rest of the day. Gene
 
This was not in the water, but funny.

How much do you charge to "Weed Wack" a normal size yard? I stop took off my headphone and asked her to ask me again. She did. I told $15 buck a hour. She told me it should not take me more then 3 hours to do her yard and if I would do it $45. the job was mine. She wrote down her address gave to me and walked a way.
 
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