Returning found rings...what do you expect in return?

[bob.oz]

My trust in others is being tested...or am i just a fool?...This topic has been discussed before in the Water/Beach detecting forum and i was somewhat shocked at the time at some of the replies.Now that summer is over i now have my own personal experiences with the return of lost items,ie..RINGS.. to their right full owners...and its left me with a new outlook on this subject.
I found and returned 8 rings this summer...2 were found for people that had lost them while i was there water hunting at the time,lucky for them,right time and place...got thanks and high 5s and a good feeling about it.
#3 was for a long time friend who's fiancee at the time,threw the ring at him in the car and it flew out the window into a yard...at night.Found it in the morning after a 30 min hunt....Hand shake,hugs,they cried...now married, I'm waiting for another call someday!
# 4 was found after answering a Craig's List add one night about a lost wedding ring at the beach in the sand.Since I lived only minutes from that beach I met the couple out there at 10 pm...found it in no time at all...and was rewarded with a UPS delivery of a Bonsai plant...she did offer me a cash reward,but i honestly felt good about my ability to help out and refused it in place of a thank-you gift,which she was true to her word.
So now i get to the last 4 rings....Class Rings...the only ring that has so much info in most cases,that I cannot ignore the possibility of finding the owner/Loser.And I did.Found the owner of a UNT ring in Nashville,called,asked that he send money for postage,he sent a check for $40 dollars and a thank-you note.I was thrilled,felt good,a positive result on the first one...It ends here..He was the only one that made good for my troubles.After locating the other 3,talking on the phone,getting Emails,I mailed each ring at my expense(About $4 each).I did not ask for anything more than postage and a pic....I got nothing..No thanks,No postage..NOTHING...One lady even registered on Find Mall,posted on my post."That's my ring,Please help,OH lord Help...a little over the top..mailed her the ring....NOTHING.....Another,a 46 HS ring,The lady had died 2 months b4 i found her so i sent it to her son.Her son had not a clue how it got lost,said his mom had never been to Florida...a real mystery...NO..I find out HE lost it...Why he acted so clueless I don't know...again i asked for postage,a pic...NOTHING...The most recent return a 2009 University ring with diamonds and amethyst was mailed back in October...The mom was so happy...it ruined there vacation losing it the first day,they were going to send papers to show it was theirs...and $30 dollars....No papers needed i told her(I found them thru the ring maker) let me know that you received it..NOTHING....
So now I'm a bit discouraged,disenchanted, and frankly, just don't get it.Aren't I/WE doing them a favor,total strangers...Should i have held the rings till they sent at the very least postage?It's not about a reward,I MD for fun,don't need the money or to profit off their loss.Just want to be acknowledged for doing the right thing.What's wrong with people today? Seems most are takers,only thinking of themselves.
...I spent time tracking these people down through Zabba search,checking hotels for registered guests with the engraved name in the ring,calling the ring maker,posting on the school alumni board....doing all i could think of to find them.I was brought up to do the right thing,say please and thank-you,help out my fellow man,treat others the way you would want to be treated....I have a good moral being and self respect...Maybe it was the TV shows that i watched as a kid..you know the ones..Father Knows Best,My three sons,Roy Rogers,Gene Autrey,Leave it to Beaver,...Shows with a good lesson and morals to teach you what is right and wrong at the end...
Maybe we should set a standard fee for returning rings, or would that be like a ransom demand?Or maybe taking in the fact that if THEY don't post in the paper or Craig's List then it really doesn't matter to them,so why bother trying to find them...Like i said not looking for a reward...Just want to be acknowledged for doing whats right...Any input/ideas/experence?...Also,since i do have email to these TAKERS,should I let them know how i feel...Thanks GL

 

[edjcox]

You can send all your rings to me and I'll take care of them...

Or you can give returrning a try and give up if it becomes burdensome.

In the future, send them COD.. Minimal fee (postage and COD fee..) Let the USPS do your collecting. If they don't want pay, they come back to you and you can send them to me..

LOL

Take care and don't let the rotten apples get to you... Most folks are not....

 

[Sailorman]

There's always going to some dishonest, thankless, ungrateful jerks in any endeavor. We have a choice of how we react to them. We can be soured on the whole thing, which I confess I struggle with my self. Or we can just decide to do the right thing regardless of the problem people, which is what I strive for. If I return something I'm not doing it for a reward so I don't expect a thing. If I get anything at all it's a nice surprise! But if I ship it, well, COD does come to mind for the cost.

 

[bootyhoundpa]

great subject bob..... ive found 3 class rings so far with only 1 successful return , which i got re-imbursed for postage and i got a short thank you letter from the kids mom and the kid did say thank you sir to me when i first was able to make phone contact with him,so i guess im way ahead in this game.... the other 2 class rings i posted on alumni boards with no response as of yet.....the thing that concerns me is now i am responsible for these rings security until rightfull owners can be found--what if i loose or mis-place them and they dont get around to contacting me for years....one of the rings i found is a 2013 with the girls 1st name on the inside that combined with the outside details should make this a very easy return right??? all i can figure is many eople are so tramatised at the intial shock of loosing such a ring that eventually when they finally get thru the acceptance process they no longer want to deal with it....

 

[REVIER]

I found a huge 17g 10k class ring and contacted the clueless owner.
It was easy to find him, his name and school were all over this thing.
After giving me the runaround for 3 weeks he finally showed up to get it and the whole experience was a letdown.

Hardly thanked me, no offer of a reward, and even though I would not have taken one if he did, it would have been nice to at least offer.
I would have.
$400 worth of gold given away for nothing on that one...a thoroughly unsatisfying experience.
Even my wife who was so proud of me at the time for even offering it back to this fool saw what I went through and has changed her mind on returns.

I moved to another state a year ago and found another class ring in a local park.
Posted my contact info on a lost ring site, and tracked down the owners # on the net, but after dozens of repeated calls for months, no answer when I called, no return calls.

I found a third class ring a few months later from the same high school..I have not even attempted to find this owner at all.

I decided I just won't take the chance of being disappointed again, and after what I went through and reading other stories of unappreciative owners, my new rule is finders-keepers.
I was a sucker, once...I learned my lesson.

If someone asks me to locate something recently lost or even from way back I will be happy to do that with no reward other than a picture of the happy owner, but If I find something from a careless stranger, it's mine.

I am taking all this found gold and sending it in for melt so I can buy my wife something nice like the gold college ring she never got when she graduated.
At least I know she will appreciate it.

 

[Tom_in_CA]

These type stories of ring-returns with no finders tip, and sometimes not even a thankyou, are not un-common. But you guys have to realize, that in that person's mind, the ring is THEIR'S, not YOURS, so .... why should they be obliged to "give you something", when it's just rightfully theirs, to begin with? Oh sure, you can think the answer to that is: "because I could have just kept it, melted it for scrap, etc..." right? But in doing so, you'd be breaking the law. Every state has lost & found laws, requiring you to turn things over to the police (notice it makes no provision for you to do your own search for the owner, btw!). The dollar threshold varies from $100-ish to $250-ish (?) depending on the state. And this is not just for identifiable things (like class rings), but ALL valuables you find. These laws were born out of wandering cattle laws in the 1800s, but .... of course, are necessary even today, so that if a brinks armored car door swings open, the next lucky guy doesn't just scoop up wads of cash and say "finders keepers".

And while you and I easily imagine that the ring we just found was "lost" at some point in the past, yet to the person who lost it, they may simply have no idea when it went missing. You know, like they go home that night, and ..... before going to bed, look down and realize their ring is gone! Thus they're not really sure if it was stolen (thinking "gee, did I leave it on the sink at the restaurant when I went to wash my hands?" or "gee, did the maid at the motel steal it off the night-stand?", etc.... ). And when or if they go to make an insurance claim therefore, it's listed as "lost/stolen", since they simply have no idea. And in THEIR mind's eye, even if it WAS "LOST", still the person who finds it is a "no good dirty rotten thief if he keeps it".

So to some people, you are only doing the right thing (and even legally speaking), by "giving it back to them".

Sure, this isn't everybody, and sure sometimes tips and atteboys make it fun and worthwhile. But other times, I've heard some sad stories. One guy I heard of traced a class ring to another part of CA, several hours away. He was able to get ahold of an owner, through much sleuthing, and gleefully tells the dazed person on the phone "I have your ring". Eventually though, the ring-owner gives the fellow his mailing address and tells him to "mail it to me". The md'r says to the guy "well at least send me a SASE little box, so I can do that". The ring owner tells the guy: "If you DON'T send it to me, I'm going to call the police!" (true story!).

Another time, a friend of mine traced a ring, called the home, but only got a voice-mail. It was in his same town, and actually only a few blocks from his own house! He left a voicemail to the effect of "call about your class ring, I have it here for you". He figured he'd go into more detail (about finding it with a detector, etc...) when the gal called back. That night, as he sat down for dinner with his family, guess who shows up at his door?? The POLICE! Turns out the ring was one of many things stolen in a home-burglary a few weeks earlier! And now my friend was .... I guess ... suspect in the burglary, and perhaps his call was perceived as an extortion attempt? My friend gave the cops the song and dance of "I found it", blah blah. But he could tell the cops weren't buying it, (like "yeah buddy, boy have we heard this one before"). In the end, the cops ask for the ring, and take it from him. Needless to say, it ruined the dinner. And for several weeks thereafter, he wasn't sure if he should go to that neighbor and try to explain, or just wait to see if the cops has more questions, etc..... He never got a thankyou or anything. After that, this fellow NEVER looked at initials on rings again.

 

[mudpuppy]

I've returned 4 class rings...When the girl came to the house to pick it up, we were having a garage sale, and just co-incedentally there was a reporter there from the local paper that took our picture and wrote an article. I got several calls from folks thereafter about how it restored a little of their faith in Humanity, one fellow called and came over to the house, he owns a factory that makes those long probes like what septic tank pumpers, and power companies use to find things underground..he actually gave me one! Really cool in case I need to find something deep.. As far an any financial rewards, no, except for one guys cellphone I found, he came and picked it up and gave me a $50 gift certificate to his new store for any merchandise I want! The kicker is the store is a medical marijuana grower supplys place! Damn! maybe they carry something I could use, I dont know, maybe a shovel, or a "get out of jail free" card?

Anyway, I struggle with gold returns...am I a Pirate, or a do-gooder? I dont know, we are supposedly "Treasure Hunters" not "Treasure Returners" A pirate sure wouldn't give any booty back! And a do gooder certainly wouldn't be wasting his time hunting for treasure, he'd be building a Habitat for Humanity house or something...Who would have thought this great hobby would cause such a wrestle with a guys internal moral compass? Good Luck to you all whatever you decide to do...For myself, I cannot promise to return anything in the future, I'm just gonna take it day by day.
Mud

 

[steve herschbach]

Expecting things of others leads to disappointment. I have only managed to return a few items, but was happy to do it and expected nothing in return except what I got. A good feeling and some karma points. Doing good is its own reward.

If postage matters, ask that it be provided before you return the item. If you want to know it was received, send it certified.

I find if I expect nothing I am often pleasantly surprised.

Steve Herschbach

 

[jabbo]

Wow. This topic really has some horror stories. I found several gold rings in parks. Some had initials but initials are not enough to find the owner so they were given away to friends and relatives.

 

[plymouthian12]

I dont expect anything in return

 

[scubadetector]

Ok a few of my horror stories. I have returned over 35 class rings. I will return them if gold, silver or stainless, it doesn't matter. HOWEVER, if I take the time to call the school and find the person I ask for shipping the ring out to them now. I will NOT ship for free after I find it for free and locate the owner. Its JUST not happening. I sent a class ring to a widow of a person in PA and nothing. I sent a USAF pilots ring to the son with the same name who was also a USAF retired pilot and nothing. I will NOT do that again.

Now for the second best story. I found a class ring in a lake belonging to Mitt Romney's nephew and George Romney's grandson. George Romney is deceased and the former Governor of MI. Called the school in CA. He contacted me from Park City Utah. Flew to Detroit with his two sons and wife, rented an SUV and drove to Port Huron where I live. Promised me a reward and NOTHING. He said he has no money. LOL, you have to be a millionaire to live in Park City.

Best story. Wife was dying, hospice was at our house, told me to go play for a few hours. Went a block away to a park that has a pond and went to dive. A person there told me about a set of wedding rings that were in a private pond and a 300.00 reward for them. I got his number and a few weeks later when hospice could be there I went to the pond to find them. It took me 15 minutes. I never saw the reward. Promised over and over and absolutely nothing. They finally lost the house and I have no idea where they went but it really doesn't matter anymore. I had no job at the time and could have really used that cash.

I will NOT return a ring that I am hired to find without a reward now. My air and time is valuable PERIOD. If they don't have a reward, I will keep the ring till they get it, that simple. I was hired to find 4 rings this summer. Found and returned 3. The last one, they really had no idea where they lost it.

I have had a LOT of good karma in retuning class rings and a lot of rewards. My best one was 500.00. Lots of 100.00 ones and some less. I have been in 6 different newspapers and on the Detroit news twice. I will keep retuning class rings BUT will only ship IF they send postage.

I have a LOT of friends that are pirates and keep everything they find. Simple, its their choice and I am still friends with them. They respect me and me them. My FREE 2

 

[bob.oz]

I'll go with getting the postage first in the future.....most people are good folks...Maybe are good intentions are taken in the wrong way,you never know what others think...I'll continue to expect nothing,but do the right thing...Heck.I even donated my time working on a Habitat for Humanity Home
I was thinking....Get some cards,shirts,letter head,rubber stamp....call your self a "search and Recovery" business...Then you could charge a finders fee,hourly hunting time,storage,clean&polishing,appraisal,and postage.....

 

[Elton]

Partial quote from Tom ca..........."if the cops has more questions, etc..... He never got a thank you or anything. After that, this fellow NEVER looked at initials on rings again".

kinda sad isn't it.......... makes you think twice about doing the right thing..

 

[khouse]

I run an ad on craigslist for my ring finding "service". Plus I'm a memeber of The ring finders. With most services offered there is a fee. I tell them up front that for local searches I expect $40 for up to the first two hours of searching. Then any reword "if" the item is found. Putting a time limit gives me an excuse to walk away if I want to. Here's the reason why. I was asked to find a Men's wedding band in the woods after he gutted a Deer. The kicker is he waited a year to call me. At that time I asked for $25 for my time. I hunted the woods for 8 hours without finding the ring. Total time was 10 hours with driving time. I told him that some Coyote must have eaten it and is probably miles away. He handed me the $25. Having the two hour clause would have given me an out or at least asking for a little more cash to carry on.
Lot's of peoples hobbies turn into a business. Why not metal detecting? Sometimes we show up with thousands of dollars of equipment and years of experience. Why not get paid? As long as you set up the ground rules before you start there is no confusion. I have them sign a contract for my services. I have no problem taking any reword and saying "Thanks you very much - I really appriciate it"
As far as returning a ring I find on my own? I figure most expensive jewelry has been insured. So most would have already been paid for their loss. Giving the ring back puts money in their pocket.
Telling someone you want to be paid for your expenses up front before you return a ring is the best way to go. If you don't ask you can't expect a dollar or even a "thank you"

 

[jabbo]

Around 1976 I found a West Point Military Acadamy class ring in a school yard. This was one huge yellow gold ring. Ring had the owners full name engraved. That same day I looked in the phone book and found the same name. I called and a lady answered. Told her I found a college ring with my metal detector. She said is it West Point? I knew I had the right person. It was her husbands ring. He worked nearby and came to my place of employment to get the ring. He offered me a reward but I said no need for that. I asked how did the ring get lost. He said the ring didn't fit his finger any more, gave it to his young son to wear as a neckerchief slide on his boyscout uniform. The ring slid off and was lost maybe 6 years. After I heard how the ring got lost I was disappointed that he didn't value it that much, and maybe I should have kept it. But I did return it and who knows maybe he had it enlarged and is wearing it again. Thirty five years ago my sister threw away an antique gold ring that her boyfriend gave her, threw it from a moving car. I don't know if the ring has any sentimental value to her. She threw it out the window as they were driving past a large park, might still be there, she never asked me to try and find it.

 

[khouse]

Last year I was hired to find a huge womens's band with lots of diamonds. She had threw it out the window of the car after an argument. It took me just 2 hours to find it. So really how valuable was this ring to her? The husband told me later it cost then $5500 and was just 3 months old. They gave me $225 for finding it. People still have a big smile even when handing over a reward. You might as well take the money. I have a video on youtube of me finding it if anyone want to see it? Search for Alica's ring Lee's Summit Missouri and you'll find it.
FYI: I made up the story that she was throwing some fruit out the window. They didn't want anyone to know.....

 

[togamac]

Great subject Bob!
I found my first class ring this year, a 1980 girl's ring from a nearby high school. I can't beleive what I'm going through to try to return it. First I went to the alumni website and emailed every graduate from that year telling them what I found. About 10% of the people answered me. One said, "Who are you and how did you get my email address?"
I did hear from one girl with the initials that are inside the ring. She said it was hers but gave me the wrong color of stone and metal and a location 25 miles from where I found it . She did, however provide me with the names of 7 other graduates with the same initials.
I wrote snail mail and email letters to the school's communication person with my story and asked her if she could help me locate the 7 other girls. No answer. I went online and searched the local newspaper archives and found an obituary which mentioned the married name of one of the girls. She was listed in the phone book. I called her. She did lose a ring. She described the right color stone, but she said her daughter lost it at school. I asked her if there was a chance that her daughter wasn't telling the truth about where she lost it. She said no her daughter wouldn't do that.
Right now I still have the ring. I don't want to give it to just anybody if there's a chance that the real owner is still out there.

Bottom line: I found a $500 iphone for a lady this summer and her joy when I returned it to her was an amazing. I'll never forget how happy she was. She offered me a reward. I said no, but afterwards, regretted that I didn't say: "I'm always looking for property to detect on and you can show me your appreciation by letting me detect your yard." I'm hoping that I'll get a chance to do that when I return this ring to the rightful owner.

 

[jabbo]

Good job finding the ring. I hope they had it re-sized so it doesn't slip off again. KVM told me where there is a man's huge gold ring along the road when the guy threw an empty beer can out the car window about 30 years ago. I didn't look for it, probably still there.

 

[khouse]

It makes me wonder just how many rings are along the road? That gold ring is still there. Might be worth a look?

 

[bob.oz]

When it comes to found wedding bands/rings...I often wonder,"was it lost or tossed?"