YOUR funny stories

[DavHut]

This question was asked on the Metal Detecting forum:
OK..what is the funniest thing that has happened to you this year while detecting...

The Garrett Fraternity loves nothing more than a good laugh so I thought I'd offer my funny episode(s). Let's hear yours.

1. I found an unopened six pack of BUD ICE while out 'tecting and got drunk, then fell asleep on a picnic table - until I fell off the table and cracked my skull on the bench. It was probably funny to watch, anyway. No, wait a minute.......that happened last year - -

2. This years funniest moment so far was when the mentally challenged lady asked me:

"Are you finding any radiation with that thing?"
"Huh?" I said.
"Yeah, youre with the government and you're testing for dangerous levels of radiation, right? I know your kind."
"My kind? Uh, where did you get that idea?"
"Oh, ever since they built the nuclear plant down south of here and stole all them peoples homes to do it, there's been radiation eatin at our brains. How much have you found?"
"Well, I havent found any yet - just a few coins."
"You couldnt tell me anyway, since you work for 'em and all. Them lying SOB's have been killing us for years with their experiments and have really been messing with our heads. I hear voices, you know, because of them. My brains never been the same since they came to town."
"Uh, I have no doubt of it ma'am. Now maybe I better get back to work?"
"Yeah, but you just be careful, or they'll turn your brain inside out, too..."
"You mean like yours?"
"Exactly."

 

[Blockade Runner]

Last weekend I sold off the last non Garrett detector that I owned. The rugged "gentlemen" that bought it asked me what I was using and when I said Garrett. He responded not as nicely as I am quoting " what in the world would you want to use a Garrett for? They ain't nothing but toys for old people!!!! I wouldn't trade you 20 Garrett's
for the ( Nautilus) that I sold him. I asked if he had ever tried a Garrett - " hell no never held one and never intend to try one".

 

[John 'n' W.Va]

In 1969 I was Mding by a historical marker where a fort once stood. We got a target on our MDer. When I dug down, we found the end of a rifle barrel. This place was all fields, but one month earlier they made it into a state park. Almost at the same time we saw the park ranger driving toward us. The car was parked beside us and we stashed everything real quick. The ranger drove by and we left, fast. It is all fixed up real pretty. You wouldn't think about MDing there now.

That one wasn't so good.

I had a target and dug down. The target was gone. I was determined to find it even if it was a rusty nail. After a while I found it. It was a magnet stuck to my digger.

See, I told you I'm not funny.

 

[Blockade Runner]

I always heard those old detectors found everything but what you wanted?

 

[Uncle Willy]

Ah the wonders of paranoia and paranoid delusions. I had an elderly lady watch me for the longest time, then approached me and asked where she could purchase a weed eater that ran that quiet.

Bill

 

[Uncle Willy]

You underestimate yourself.

Bill

 

[Uncle Willy]

I had a Bounty Hunter BFO that wouldn't find a cannon ball in a tub of oatmeal. Haven't liked them since.

Bill

 

[Uncle Willy]

That's typical of the non-Garrett crowd. But that's okay. It's one less beeper swinger to have to compete with.

Bill

 

[Paul(NWO)]

I was in a park detecting near a swing set. Here comes two young couples to use the swings. The one young lady comes over to see what I had found when I started to dig a signal. She wanted to know if it would find a twenty dollar bill? Uh, no lady it's a METAL detector. Then I told her that gold would show on the display the same as a pulltab or nickle. So she takes her wedding ring off and puts it on the mulch. The hubby isn't enjoying this much as the Geezer has been with his sweety all this time and it wasn't supposed to go like this. I hand her the detector and she swings over the ring. I show her on the display that sure enough it's right at nickle. She looks over at hubby and says, "Honey it registers as nickle". Hubby figures he's in deep do-do and comes running over yelling "BUT HONEY I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THAT RING". The buddy is now laughing his butt off and no one wants to hear it's only the electrical characteristics. Oh, well!

 

[prodrigsr]

Went once with a buddy of mine to a nearby park. As soon as I parked he practically jumped out of my pickup, put his headphones on, and darted to the play area to hunt. BUT he forgot to take the metal detector. Couldn't stop laughing for days.

 

[Leslie(nova scotia)]

n/t

 

[DavHut]

"what in the world would you want to use a Garrett for? They ain't nothing but toys for old people!!!!... never held one and never intend to try one".

Actually, I used to be one of those guys, saying the same things myself - until I tried one that friend loaned me. Ive had one ever since. Now THATS funny.

 

[DavHut]

I was in a park detecting near a swing set. Here comes two young couples to use the swings. The one young lady comes over to see what I had found when I started to dig a signal. She wanted to know if it would find a twenty dollar bill? Uh, no lady it's a METAL detector. Then I told her that gold would show on the display the same as a pulltab or nickle. So she takes her wedding ring off and puts it on the mulch. The hubby isn't enjoying this much as the Geezer has been with his sweety all this time and it wasn't supposed to go like this. I hand her the detector and she swings over the ring. I show her on the display that sure enough it's right at nickle. She looks over at hubby and says, "Honey it registers as nickle". Hubby figures he's in deep do-do and comes running over yelling "BUT HONEY I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THAT RING".

Okay now this is a hoot, right here!

 

[John 'n' W.Va]

I had a great time with mine. My dad worked for a place that invented electronic things. A big business would tell them what they wanted and they would make it for them. The men got together and made a metal locater. They made their our printed circuit boards and coils housings out of Plexiglas. The company rejected they idea and told them not to make them any more. They made them for their own personal use and started a club. The first thing we found in our yard was a gold band.

 

[Blockade Runner]

I just checked the washing machine and had 12 shotgun, brass pieces and
other junk in there ( much to my dismay). Maytag does a heck of job
cleaning relics. Anybody tried it for their finds !!!

 

[awhitster]

Must have thought I was POOR FOLK

I was detecting an old trailer park here in town. Everyone living here are hard working Mexican Americans probably just living on the edge. I was working an area where an old tether ball post was. This guy about 20 years old was watching. I kept pulling out pennies. Each time I would show it to him and smile. Then I found a nickel, looked at him with excitement and gave him the thumbs up. He disappeared and came back about 5 min. later. He held out his hand and had a nickel in it and said,

 

[ben ohio]

My first detector was a Relco Frontiersman in 71 didnt find much with it but it got me hooked.Been digging ever since.

 

[Uncle Willy]

Love it. Ignorance can be corrected but stupid is forever.

Bill

 

[Uncle Willy]

Yeah I remember the Relco. What a lot of the younger set doesn't know is that when this hobby was in its infancy there were about a hundred different detectors on the market. Everyone with a hint of electrical knowledge and spare room in their garage was cranking out metal detectors. Charles Garrett started out in his garage.

Bill

 

[DavHut]

The Wise Man of the Coil speaks. What was it like to use those detectors, Bill? And was stuff really more plentiful and just plain easier to find?