You Might Be Muslim If...
...You refine heroin for a living, but you have a
moral objection to beer.
...You have a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket
launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
...You have more wives than teeth.
...You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof
and suicide.
...You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared
Jihad against.
...You consider television dangerous, but routinely
carry ammunition in your robe.
...You've ever been asked, 'Does this Burka make my
rear look fat?'
...You've felt the urge to rub some one out after seeing a
woman's exposed ankle.
...You were amazed to discover that cell phones have
uses other than for setting off road side bombs.
...You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've
done with your cave.'
...You wipe your back side with your bare left hand, but
consider bacon unclean.
...You refine heroin for a living, but you have a
moral objection to beer.
...You have a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket
launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
...You have more wives than teeth.
...You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof
and suicide.
...You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared
Jihad against.
...You consider television dangerous, but routinely
carry ammunition in your robe.
...You've ever been asked, 'Does this Burka make my
rear look fat?'
...You've felt the urge to rub some one out after seeing a
woman's exposed ankle.
...You were amazed to discover that cell phones have
uses other than for setting off road side bombs.
...You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've
done with your cave.'
...You wipe your back side with your bare left hand, but
consider bacon unclean.