Wayne in BC
New member
A man takes his old duck to the veterinarian, concerned because the duck won't eat. After the vet examines the duck, he explains to the man that as a duck ages, its upper bill grows down over its lower bill, and when that happens it's difficult for the animal to pick up its food.
"What you need to do is gently file the upper bill so it's even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck's nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it'll drown."
About a week later the vet calls to inquire about the patient.
"Well, how is that duck of yours?" he asks.
"He's dead," the heartbroken man says.
"I told you not to file his upper bill down too far. He took a drink of water and drowned didn't he?" the vet asks.
"No," the man says. "I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise."
___________________________________________________________________
A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said.
She asked,"How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl,"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied,"Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
"What you need to do is gently file the upper bill so it's even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck's nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it'll drown."
About a week later the vet calls to inquire about the patient.
"Well, how is that duck of yours?" he asks.
"He's dead," the heartbroken man says.
"I told you not to file his upper bill down too far. He took a drink of water and drowned didn't he?" the vet asks.
"No," the man says. "I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise."
___________________________________________________________________
A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said.
She asked,"How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl,"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied,"Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
