Vernon in Virginia~Formerly Alaska
New member
[size=large]I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take the following exam.
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10-pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks in your front yard?
(A) a '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) a '86 Dodge Diplomat
(C) a '80 Ford pickup
3. If your uncle builds a still, which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw, which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The
plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How
many Budweisers, will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it
take a town, which has been bypassed, by the Interstate to breed a
country-western singer?
Below is a set of Red Neck Airbags
[/size]
[attachment 71693 redneckairbagsuv9.jpg]
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10-pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks in your front yard?
(A) a '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) a '86 Dodge Diplomat
(C) a '80 Ford pickup
3. If your uncle builds a still, which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw, which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The
plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How
many Budweisers, will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it
take a town, which has been bypassed, by the Interstate to breed a
country-western singer?
Below is a set of Red Neck Airbags
[/size]
[attachment 71693 redneckairbagsuv9.jpg]
