I went to the doctor once a few years back.. He said, "You drive too much and have strangulated hemmerhoids.. you gotta soak them in some warm salty water",
So I left his office and drove 1200 miles down to Florida! Told the Wife it was 'Doctors Orders'..
...Hemmerhoids so big I had to strap them into a kid carrier in the passenger side!...(Although it was sort of nice to have somebody to talk to and take advantage of the HOV lanes through Nashville! I just slapped a ball cap and sunglasses on them and cruised right through
) Worse thing, the hotels charged me double occupancy thinking I was sharing a room with my Mother In Law, or Lindsay Graham!
Anyway,
I waded on in that warm salt water waist deep with the detector and left them there floating alongside like a giant japanese jellyfish, completely emptied the beach of all the tourists and I had the whole place to myself!...dragged them along behind me like a floating purple Barney the Dinosaur float toy
Cured me slick as a whistle! (I think a baby bullshark may have got them) All I know is that warm salt water is a good place to be! I found a couple of pennies and drove back home after a week of warm salt water therapy, got into a party with some young 'Spring Breakers' that decorum and prudence wont allow me to talk about...just suffice to say they liked the cut of my jib, and respected my elder status on the liquor store runs! ...
Yeah, that guy should have molded in a scoop socket for your hand there George! You must have the 'bronze' plan!
Gold waits for Nobody!
Man up will ya? You still got one good arm!
Mud