Jack,
Many of us too have been frustrated too with ours untill we have learned them a bit and start to understand them. Some have the patience while other do not. Getting beat by your wife Shadow dont help, but the Shadow will get more coins as it is a faster working detector, but it will not get the quality of coins the Explorer will. The Explorer has to be used a lot slower than the Shadow does as it is also going deeper and getting coins that may be close to junk that the Explorer will see both the good and the bad.
My wife used to always get more coins with her Shadow than I do with my Sovereign or my Explorer, but she gets the new coins while mine are the deeper and older ones.
Tell us what you setting are, how fast you going, what headphone you using?
Sometimes you may be better of starting in the factory presets and just up the Sensitivity a bit untill you understand the detector beter. One thing is going slow and listening close with a good set of headphones and being in a area that has old and deep coins.
Looking at these fourms we see a lot of nice finds being found with the Explorer, but i am sure this took time to understand the Explorer and having a place to go that has them.
I have had my Explorer for 2 years and I have seen some things that has impressed me with mine just like the Sovereign has done, but find it took more time to learn the Explorer than any of the other detectors i have used in my 29 years of detecting. What helps is the tips we learn here on these fourms, but these do not work for everyone as there detecting is differnt, so we learn what the setting will do and adapt them to our style of hunting.
Good luck Jack, have a little patience and try some of the advice you get on these fourms, but remember to go slow and listen to the faint ones and odd ones others have missed.
Rick