Prayer request!

[Digdoug]

My 19 year old daughter is planning on making the biggest mistake of her life. She wants to move in with her latest boyfriend who she has only gone out with a couple of weeks or so. She has known this man, he's 30 and divorced with a $700 a month child support payment, for about a year or so. She is desparate to be on her own but won't listen to mom or dad. She has turned her back on the Lord and says she doesn't care.

She's 19 and an adult (with the mind of a lost child, apparently) and I can't legally stop her from leaving. I explained to her all of the pitfalls she will have to face if she goes through with this. I love her and want only the best for her as any God fearing parent would and so I promised her I wouldn't encourage her or help her if she follows through with this. She asked me to sign over my car she has been driving and I was going to until she dropped this bombshell on me. I feel if I sign the car over to her I'm just making it that much easier for her to leave. My gut feeling is to take the keys from her and tell her she will have to provide for her own transportation if she moves in with this guy. Heck, she can't afford to pay for the repair bills as it is, living here at home with absolutely no financial responsibility except for her insurance which she pays, and she is usually late paying that. On the other hand, taking the car away could just make her want to leave all the more.

Is not giving her the car the wrong thing to do? Or, should I just give her the car and wish her the best?

Can anyone offer any advice or suggestions on how I should handle the situation?

She has been raised in a Christian home but has fallen victim to the ways of the world. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will move in her heart and wake her up out of her little dream world. I just don't understand. She knows better. At least I thought she did.

Thanks!!

 

[steve in so la]

Doug - After a child is about 15 they are pretty much out of the parent's influence. Probably the best thing you can do is to pray for her and wait. Maybe years, maybe not. If it were me I'd give her the car since you had planned on doing it anyway. Not giving it now would, I feel, seem spiteful to her. But I would not help in any other way. Her "man" can take over her needs, not you.
And if her situation happens to work out you won't be a total enemy to the couple.

We'll pray for your family, Steve & Nancy in so az

 

[Mike Chgo area]

Through the same thing except there was no one my daughter was involved with. She came home about 6 months later. The sad part of it is the women end up the children to take care of if it goes that far. Like you say you can't force them to stay. I hope and will pray she will wake up and realize what's up.

 

[happy harold]

hh

 

[rentasquid]

except to love them like Jesus would. I know that is something you would do regardless. I'll really be praying for this Doug.

J.

 

[Graw]

Doug Theres no book on being a parent - Listen to your heart God will speak . I would keep the car which is a benefit of your house hold -- May the Lord look into this for you -- Graw

 

[Leslie(nova scotia)]

n/t

 

[Mike from MI "Iron Brigade"]

I once heard a person say (Pray for - don't preach at). I know you are already doing that. Sometimes it helps not to make it seem as if we no beter than they do even if we do. I know a girl who just left home because she wants to find herself, she wants to find love, and no longer live under her parents rule. She was also raised in a Christian home. No that you are not alone in this. We will pray hard and ;long that Sarah will wake up and see the light. This will likely be a lesson she didn't want to learn the hard way.
I would likely take the car away too.

 

[Randy Cosner]

n/t

 

[Jeff SC]

I will be praying for the all of you. I been and still going down that road now. Call me if you need someone to talk to about anything. Jeff

 

[Greg from Mi.]

We have one son. He's 19 and walking with the Lord but wanted to move out about a year ago. I told him how easy he had it here and how hard it would be out there with his small income. He was still going to do it untill he found out from me that mom and dad paying for collage was if he lived at home. If you move out and want to play grownup it come with all the bills not just the fun being your own boss.
IF I was in your place I would NOT give her the car. Would NOT help move and would NOT send her off with any cash!!!! These are things mom and dad do helping there kids living at home not on there own. To me doing these things only say its OK to do.
I'll pray for you.
Greg
PS I also told our son ( tough love here ) that the door only opens one way if you leave.
By the way, he lives at home still. Great kid or should I say young man but some times mom and dad see things they dont.
Also some times lessons have to be learned by them selfs

 

[SEMPERFI61]

yep,its really tough doug ,i have been through this twice with my son and daughter ,they still out there living for the devil and they have nothing to do with myself or the wife??some day it will all hit home and they will realize what they have donehopefully i will see this before i die.
praying for you doug hope it turns out better for you.maybe your pastors wife can speak to her?god bless.

bill

 

[Digdoug]

...and suggestions and especially the prayers.

She is starting to have second thoughts now. KIDS!!!!

I'll keep you posted!!

 

[Anonymous]

Hi Doug! I am just now reading your post about Sarah and my heart says it is best for her to stay home and save money for moving out on her own. It is tough out there in the world and this man she wants to move in with has plenty of child support responsiblities and she would end up having to work to help with those payments and the bills at home plus possibly a pregancy, which would be sad if it didn't work out and they eventually separated instead of getting married! I would have to say to use Tough Love and let her experience what it is to be an adult and have to work and pay the bills, even for a car; therefore, I wouldn't give her the car....unless she stayed at home or needed it for her college education, if and when she decided to enhance the quaility of life for herself! It will be hard on her, but she needs to learn and not make it easy for her!

My prayers are with you for Brian and concerning your daughter, too, and may the perfect laborer be sent to her to get her attention about what she is about to do to possibly ruin her life for a long time and to lead her closer to Jesus! I pray God's Holy Spirit will help draw her closer to God, in Jesus' name, and she will see the perfect Light of our Savior, Who is Christ our Lord! Blessings and may God give you and Carol sweet peace and comfort in knowing He is there hearing your and our prayers for Sarah to do what is right for all of you! God Bless! Betty

 

[DFXED]

WOW this must really be difficult for you and your wife . Sounds like you are a good loving father and gave her the best upbringing you could .. I have two young daughters and this is a tough situation . I will be praying for all of you . I also think the car should go to her , she will need . If you don't give it to her as planned she will most likely still go and hold it against you .. This is her free will taking over . I pray she doesn't compromise to much of her good character and learns a valuable lesson .. If you give her a soft place to land if things get bad for her , than she will always trust in your love and teachings . MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU .

 

[Mike from MI "Iron Brigade"]

Glad to have you here. Where ya from?
God bless.

 

[DFXED]

Santa Clarita calif. North LA. I saw this forum about a year ago but lost it , just found it again . It is good to see brothers and sisters in Christ with detecting in common .

 

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the forum, DFXED! Hope you post often and show us some of your finds whenever you can! God Bless! Betty