Wayne in BC
New member
Some lessons i learned over the years fortunately "stuck" with me and remain in my ammo pouch also there are variations still on file in my evil mind for certain "hottie zone" situations 
Along about nineteen and fifty eightish and grade eightish, i was another average sized kid struggling to deal with the standard nightmare of the class bully. Well by gosh i knew what to do when confronted with an honest boy on boy scrap when the other kid was way bigger. You either got them legs going and bore the shame, or, in a really dire situation one could kick him in the procreation orbs and run! This last scenario that many of us "average" kids spoke bravely about seldom actually happened but was presented as an actual option.
One day tho, a stroke of brilliance hit me like the flash from an old Brownie camera as i watched my mother open a new product that was supposed to replace "exlax" and my vindictive grade school mind went into gear!
Mom had been having an issue with bowel movements and though i was only vaguely aware of the situation, i, like other little twerps was only too aware of the dangers of the quasi chocolate "exlax" having been dumb enough to fall for the advice of older and nastier kids!
Thus when Mom opened up the package of "Feenamint" which looked so very much like "chicklets" gum, i was instantly lost in the warm and spiteful feeling of REVENGE!
In my class was one kid with the nickname of Jumbo, heck i can't remember his first name, who was the epitomy of all class bullies. At age 13ish he was nearly 6 ft and about 240 lbs, lots of "babyfat", and a nasty attitude with a fixation on food, everyone elses as well as his! You had to hide your lunch or snacks as he would just take them and if you resisted, recess was gonna be a nightmare for sure. I and others got their faces painfully rubbed in hard snow, sand, or mud depending on the season, for refusing to give up our treats.
Now i know you can see this coming, given that i have given away lots of info. Need i add that some of Mom's "gum" had gone missing and was now ensconced in a chicklets box? Nah i didn't think so ... but for now put yourself into the classroom back in those days, i know you can....
Just before recess and the teacher is droning on about history, his back turned to the board as he chalks up points about the Crimean War. With the exception of a few girls and maybe one guy who actually were there to learn, the rest of us are busy with our own thoughts, none of which are about school and some are about evil verbotten subjects.
I carefully slip the package of "gum" out of my pocket, pretending not to know that Jumbo is watching intently as all kids do when someone is obviously trying to fool the teacher. I have one row of regular chicklets of top of the half pack of gum, and my little "butt bombs" below. These are the same shape and a bit different colored, but taste kinda minty also. I pop 4 or so chicklets into my mouth, hearing the hissed whisper from Jumbo who is across the aisle and next to me.....gimme that! I shake my head in token resistence and when the teacher turns back to the board, the reply....i'm gonna pound ya at recess! After a moment i give in as always and take out a couple chicklets for him, then hearing another hiss which i also knew was coming....all of them! Looking downcast and resigned i hand over the package, which instantly is emptied in his big slobbering maw, and the stage is set!
Did i mention that the directions of the package of laxative gum were quite specific about one or two a day, and not for children? Not that i was thinking much about that and the fact that my tormenter had swallowed four along with another four or five chicklets was part of the plan. That stuff takes a while to work but i started looking for results right away. Recess came and went, so did lunch, and i was thinking, darn! My plan aint working on that big tub of guts! Then just before afternoon recess when i had resigned myself to failure, Jumbo started squirming a bit and got an odd look on his face, puzzlement mixed with obvious discomfort and worry as he raised his hand .........
continued...
Along about nineteen and fifty eightish and grade eightish, i was another average sized kid struggling to deal with the standard nightmare of the class bully. Well by gosh i knew what to do when confronted with an honest boy on boy scrap when the other kid was way bigger. You either got them legs going and bore the shame, or, in a really dire situation one could kick him in the procreation orbs and run! This last scenario that many of us "average" kids spoke bravely about seldom actually happened but was presented as an actual option.
One day tho, a stroke of brilliance hit me like the flash from an old Brownie camera as i watched my mother open a new product that was supposed to replace "exlax" and my vindictive grade school mind went into gear!
Mom had been having an issue with bowel movements and though i was only vaguely aware of the situation, i, like other little twerps was only too aware of the dangers of the quasi chocolate "exlax" having been dumb enough to fall for the advice of older and nastier kids!
Thus when Mom opened up the package of "Feenamint" which looked so very much like "chicklets" gum, i was instantly lost in the warm and spiteful feeling of REVENGE!
In my class was one kid with the nickname of Jumbo, heck i can't remember his first name, who was the epitomy of all class bullies. At age 13ish he was nearly 6 ft and about 240 lbs, lots of "babyfat", and a nasty attitude with a fixation on food, everyone elses as well as his! You had to hide your lunch or snacks as he would just take them and if you resisted, recess was gonna be a nightmare for sure. I and others got their faces painfully rubbed in hard snow, sand, or mud depending on the season, for refusing to give up our treats.
Now i know you can see this coming, given that i have given away lots of info. Need i add that some of Mom's "gum" had gone missing and was now ensconced in a chicklets box? Nah i didn't think so
... but for now put yourself into the classroom back in those days, i know you can....Just before recess and the teacher is droning on about history, his back turned to the board as he chalks up points about the Crimean War. With the exception of a few girls and maybe one guy who actually were there to learn, the rest of us are busy with our own thoughts, none of which are about school and some are about evil verbotten subjects.
I carefully slip the package of "gum" out of my pocket, pretending not to know that Jumbo is watching intently as all kids do when someone is obviously trying to fool the teacher. I have one row of regular chicklets of top of the half pack of gum, and my little "butt bombs" below. These are the same shape and a bit different colored, but taste kinda minty also. I pop 4 or so chicklets into my mouth, hearing the hissed whisper from Jumbo who is across the aisle and next to me.....gimme that! I shake my head in token resistence and when the teacher turns back to the board, the reply....i'm gonna pound ya at recess! After a moment i give in as always and take out a couple chicklets for him, then hearing another hiss which i also knew was coming....all of them! Looking downcast and resigned i hand over the package, which instantly is emptied in his big slobbering maw, and the stage is set!
Did i mention that the directions of the package of laxative gum were quite specific about one or two a day, and not for children?
Not that i was thinking much about that and the fact that my tormenter had swallowed four along with another four or five chicklets was part of the plan. That stuff takes a while to work but i started looking for results right away. Recess came and went, so did lunch, and i was thinking, darn! My plan aint working on that big tub of guts! Then just before afternoon recess when i had resigned myself to failure, Jumbo started squirming a bit and got an odd look on his face, puzzlement mixed with obvious discomfort and worry as he raised his hand .........continued...
!!!