butch...ar
New member
one day recently, I came home from mowing and found a strange, no return address package siting on my front porch. On inspection of package a liquid ooooozed out one corner and the box wiggled like something was alive inside. I hastly removed it to safer grounds and proceeded to check it out.
Got the bomb detector, geiger meterized electron producing infared midget reader and proceeded to scan package when once again it read- had mineral content and possible brass timers and was ticking like a time bomb.
chapter 2
Put on safety equipment of steel toed work boots,safety glasses,and John Deere ball cap and took a big gun to the package ,for if it wiggled one more time, shoot that gall durn thang. When, out of no where the re inforcements arrived and started sniffing the strange package wrapped in 100,000 yards of postal tape.
chapter 3
When in doubt call in the "Catpatrol", to do the hard work, investagating if something was indeed alive inside the strange box.
Catpatrol signals all is well and walks off sending message to take huge hunting knife, chopping axe, a firewood splitting maul and try to cut,chop,maul thru all the postal wrap and see what is inside, before it all leaked out.
chapter 4
Just, my darn luck, the leaking was one of a 30 pack of good cold Busch Premium Beer. Also, inside the box was not one but two funny yellowish jars of sumping otr another, but I did recognize the 2 packages of country okra. There was enough okra for supper that night, the next night and even a midnight snack or two.
The yellow handled hair comb was nice, but I ain't got no durn hair. Also a funny looking outhouse with a bear inside scoppin in the woods birthday kawd.
Now all would have been good and healthy for I was fixin to be 60 years old n a few days and proceeded to get my nourishments from the liquid in them durn cans. Yummy, I kept looking though at them yellow jars and wondered if it was fly bait , thick linement, or cold sore healer. Opening jar number one after several of the Receipe's, I discovered a well known scent of "peaches".
chapter 5
all was not good the next morning at daylight and getting ready for another day of riding them lawn tractors, I new I had to have some added strength after being forced to over in dulge in the smoothness of liquid truth serum. Making meself a pan of big Taxas biskits --I set in and opened me a jar of what I thought was peach jam, but it had some funny lumps in it, but was so tasty, just ignored them lumps and had to make second pan of biskits for that peach jam was wow-o-wow delicious, jar number one was emptied in one meal.
Now , later in the day, i noticed I had worlds of instant energy and had went to the woods with the charmin more than i should have. Finally realizing I had been had, for those lumps in the peach jam was figs. Them figs opened up pipes that had been stopped up for a while, along with they ate up all the cholesterol in my blood, the leather off my work boots, and took the green color out of my John Deere work cap.
chapter 6
With clear mind and concience on morning number 2, I had to investigate the larger jar and see what it was. It too smelled like peaches and was sooooo good spread on them hot biskits with tons of boodah, followed by folgers kick um up juice.
Jar, number 2 had to had alum added to it, for I quit smoking when, I cud not get me mouth open to smoke. Quit chasing red headed wimmen for I could not get my eyes open. Quit, everything till I one handedly blew me a snot rocket out of each side of my nose and open up the breathing tubes again, but it still smelled like peaches to me.
the end of the story of okra and beer
thanks, go to whoever "Anonomouse" is..........
it gave lift to my wings, on my 60th birthday
but, I will allways be the lean,mean-good lookin detectin machine
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470dd19091a00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">strange looking box,with no return address?
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470dd03090000000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">scan with geiger counter for possible bombs
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470dd0c883f00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">get big gun and investigate closely,safely
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470ddf288c100000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">call in the CATPATROL.
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470ddfe88cd00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">catpatrol, signals all is clear,safe for opening
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470ddfd09fe00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">okra and beer, yum yum
Got the bomb detector, geiger meterized electron producing infared midget reader and proceeded to scan package when once again it read- had mineral content and possible brass timers and was ticking like a time bomb.
chapter 2
Put on safety equipment of steel toed work boots,safety glasses,and John Deere ball cap and took a big gun to the package ,for if it wiggled one more time, shoot that gall durn thang. When, out of no where the re inforcements arrived and started sniffing the strange package wrapped in 100,000 yards of postal tape.
chapter 3
When in doubt call in the "Catpatrol", to do the hard work, investagating if something was indeed alive inside the strange box.
Catpatrol signals all is well and walks off sending message to take huge hunting knife, chopping axe, a firewood splitting maul and try to cut,chop,maul thru all the postal wrap and see what is inside, before it all leaked out.
chapter 4
Just, my darn luck, the leaking was one of a 30 pack of good cold Busch Premium Beer. Also, inside the box was not one but two funny yellowish jars of sumping otr another, but I did recognize the 2 packages of country okra. There was enough okra for supper that night, the next night and even a midnight snack or two.
The yellow handled hair comb was nice, but I ain't got no durn hair. Also a funny looking outhouse with a bear inside scoppin in the woods birthday kawd.
Now all would have been good and healthy for I was fixin to be 60 years old n a few days and proceeded to get my nourishments from the liquid in them durn cans. Yummy, I kept looking though at them yellow jars and wondered if it was fly bait , thick linement, or cold sore healer. Opening jar number one after several of the Receipe's, I discovered a well known scent of "peaches".
chapter 5
all was not good the next morning at daylight and getting ready for another day of riding them lawn tractors, I new I had to have some added strength after being forced to over in dulge in the smoothness of liquid truth serum. Making meself a pan of big Taxas biskits --I set in and opened me a jar of what I thought was peach jam, but it had some funny lumps in it, but was so tasty, just ignored them lumps and had to make second pan of biskits for that peach jam was wow-o-wow delicious, jar number one was emptied in one meal.
Now , later in the day, i noticed I had worlds of instant energy and had went to the woods with the charmin more than i should have. Finally realizing I had been had, for those lumps in the peach jam was figs. Them figs opened up pipes that had been stopped up for a while, along with they ate up all the cholesterol in my blood, the leather off my work boots, and took the green color out of my John Deere work cap.
chapter 6
With clear mind and concience on morning number 2, I had to investigate the larger jar and see what it was. It too smelled like peaches and was sooooo good spread on them hot biskits with tons of boodah, followed by folgers kick um up juice.
Jar, number 2 had to had alum added to it, for I quit smoking when, I cud not get me mouth open to smoke. Quit chasing red headed wimmen for I could not get my eyes open. Quit, everything till I one handedly blew me a snot rocket out of each side of my nose and open up the breathing tubes again, but it still smelled like peaches to me.
the end of the story of okra and beer
thanks, go to whoever "Anonomouse" is..........
it gave lift to my wings, on my 60th birthday
but, I will allways be the lean,mean-good lookin detectin machine
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470dd19091a00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">strange looking box,with no return address?
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470dd03090000000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">scan with geiger counter for possible bombs
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470dd0c883f00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">get big gun and investigate closely,safely
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470ddf288c100000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">call in the CATPATROL.
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470ddfe88cd00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">catpatrol, signals all is clear,safe for opening
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d738b3127cce9470ddfd09fe00000016108Cbt27Zs1Z0">okra and beer, yum yum
