In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "Y'all ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol" as in big'ol truck or big'ol boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here and has even been adopted in Texas.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say and you don't want to be near when what ever it is happens.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns or rifles, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to just pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. The same holds true in southern Louisiana only replace the gravel with sea shells.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. The same holds true for ever being "a good ol' boy."
A Study in Contrasts:
The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses
The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-On Nails.
The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.
The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish.
The North has the Rust Belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.
THE SOUTHERN HOLY TRINITY
JESUS - ELVIS - ROBERT E. LEE
[attachment 15740 SouthernTrinity.jpg]
American By Birth - Southern By The Grace of God! 
South Carolina - Fighting Terrorism Since 1861!
South Carolina - Beating Tyranny Since 1776!
SOUTH CAROLINA SOVEREIGNTY FLAG
[attachment 15741 SCSovereigntyFlag.gif]
God Bless Dixie!
[attachment 15742 LeeReads.jpg]
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "Y'all ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol" as in big'ol truck or big'ol boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here and has even been adopted in Texas.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say and you don't want to be near when what ever it is happens.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns or rifles, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to just pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. The same holds true in southern Louisiana only replace the gravel with sea shells.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. The same holds true for ever being "a good ol' boy."
A Study in Contrasts:
The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses
The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-On Nails.
The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.
The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish.
The North has the Rust Belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.
THE SOUTHERN HOLY TRINITY
JESUS - ELVIS - ROBERT E. LEE
[attachment 15740 SouthernTrinity.jpg]
American By Birth - Southern By The Grace of God! South Carolina - Fighting Terrorism Since 1861!
South Carolina - Beating Tyranny Since 1776!
SOUTH CAROLINA SOVEREIGNTY FLAG
[attachment 15741 SCSovereigntyFlag.gif]
God Bless Dixie!
[attachment 15742 LeeReads.jpg]
