New Living Will Form
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and
body,do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial
means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the
hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade
biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time
passes and I fail to sit up and ask for
(please initial all that apply)
_________a martini,
_________a margarita,
_________a beer,
__________a steak,
_________ the remote control,
__________ a bowl of ice cream,
_________ a Kalua on the rocks,
________ sex,
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a
determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a
day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead
to the future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent
coma.
Signature:___________________________
Date: ___________________________
Witness: __________________________
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and
body,do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial
means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the
hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade
biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time
passes and I fail to sit up and ask for
(please initial all that apply)
_________a martini,
_________a margarita,
_________a beer,
__________a steak,
_________ the remote control,
__________ a bowl of ice cream,
_________ a Kalua on the rocks,
________ sex,
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a
determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a
day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead
to the future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent
coma.
Signature:___________________________
Date: ___________________________
Witness: __________________________