Mike Chgo area
Well-known member
TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN WRITTEN !
Natural Laws
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated
with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is direct-
ly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you
never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now
(works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting some-
one you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with some-
one you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, IT WILL !
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people
whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are
the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer,
or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance
or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never
move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter
end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly (bad-
tempered and unfriendly) folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.
13. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH
GATHERS NO FEET !
14. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as
you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Natural Laws
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated
with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is direct-
ly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you
never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now
(works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting some-
one you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with some-
one you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, IT WILL !
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people
whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are
the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer,
or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance
or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never
move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter
end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly (bad-
tempered and unfriendly) folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.
13. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH
GATHERS NO FEET !
14. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as
you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Ma