Natural Bodily Functions

[mudpuppy]

Being a newbie to this "sport" of metal detecting, I have read all the posts about proper technique and etiquette and have adhered to the Metal Dectorists Ethics, however, I have not seen the subject addressed about how does one relieve oneself in public, without attracting public disdain or the Law, and will share a few tips.

This issue has never been a problem for me related to other outdoor activities, usually one just "lets fly" wherever and whenever the urge arises. In matters of a liquid sort, it is accomplished with little fanfare and thinking, over the side of the boat, in a minnow bucket if theres a crowd around, or against the nearest tree. In matters regarding solids, or semi-solids, a person has to be a little bit better prepared. Leaves are untrustworthy, so a person can plan ahead and carry some paper, Even without paper, a smooth stick, or a smooth stone work well, in a "pinch" if you will, a quarter makes a handy little scoop, and can be left behind to be discovered by one of our brethren. The best is a handful of snow! It is a refreshing and effective way to solve this dillema, and can be chucked against a target once employed.

Now, on a crowded beach, or in a public park, things get a little more complecated. A fellow cant be running to the porta potty, or the nearest fast food establishment all the time, and as I get older, theres not enough of a warning window to make this possible.

On my sand scoop, I have attached a small funnel to the end of the handle, and have drilled out a hole in the bottom, I wear long loosefitting shirts, so a fellow can poke the end of the scoop handle in the front of ones trousers, inserting the winkie snugly in the funnel, completely covered by the shirttails, pretending a target is being pinpointed, with both hands free, discreetly resolve this issue.
In matters reagrding the solids, a deep hole excavated in the sand by one of the beachgoers makes a nice hidden place, be sure to aquire a unused towel, or a shirt, both of which can be found in abundance on most beaches unattended. Drop out of sight into the depression, be quick about it, no dilly dallying, kick some sand over it, replace the employed piece of fabric in its general location, and be on your way! Most likely a kid or a dog will get the blame, not some old geezer who is stumbling around with headphones on. in a park, get to the playground, and find a secluded spot behind the climbing wall, in a baseball field dugout, or anywhere you can have a minute unobserved.
Hope this helps, and Happy Hunting! And bring an extra pair of undergarments, enough money for bail, and your senior citizens ID card, just in case.

 

[Wayne in BC]

We need to know where you detect so we don't pick up clads

 

[Micheal_R]

And with the handle of the scoop in an , um, inappropriate place, people might get the wrong idea!! : : :

calm seas

Micheal

 

[mudpuppy]

Mikie, People dont seem to notice the scoop handle, for all intents and purposes, it looks like your holding it close to your body. the hollow handle acts like a pipe, to direct the liquid through the funnel, and out the hole in the bottom...as for the coins Wayne, in the olden days our moms would tell us, "get that money out of your mouth, you dont know where its been". so obviously this trick has been going on for quite some time, and was started before toilet paper was available, perhaps thats why we find so much old silver!
I once tried to spray the inside of my pants with Scotchguard, and even though it worked like a charm, the dampness on my legs was annoying, as was the odor upon my return home.

 

[Cupajo]

Ya got me thinkin Mudpuppy.

First, would you let us know where your hunting grounds are as a courtesy to Fellow Hunters so we don't have occasion to stumble into one of your "discards"!

As a near seventy years young hunter I have been facing the same issue and have darn near decided that adult diapers might not be such a bad idea for water hunting with waders after all when considering the alternative!

So far I have only had to cut my hunting day short a few times with no adverse consequences, but then I do live close to where I hunt and also nearly all of the beach-front houses are unoccupied during the winter and most of the time relief for discarding a cup-a-jo is only a few strides away in a sandy back-yard.

There are days when people are all over the place and there is no place to go, but home.

Another way out when few people are around is a small plastic pail and the space between the side doors of my van.

This provides a small discrete bit of privacy away from direct view and all I have to do is be alert to anyone walking in the area.

Solids haven't been an issue as yet and with careful planning I hope to keep it that way, but then there are always the AD alternative!

CJ

 

[mudpuppy]

Thanks Cupajo! Ya see, its something we all have to deal with, but nobody has addressed it yet. Waders certainly impose a great hardship, unless you dont wear any pants under them, and you borrowed them from a friend!

 

[Bayrat76]

n/t

 

[Royal]

A half dollar makes more sense but if I have to take a dump I will find a proper place to do it. He sure has a fertile mind though but the bail money just might be something he wants to have with him at all times.

If a feller is really old, I figure just shating your britches would be in order.

 

[mudpuppy]

Use a Chucky Cheese token, and pretend the profile is Hilarys...that ought to make you feel better...I'm just saying that finding a proper place to take a dump, before the dump finds you has never been an issue with other outdoor hobbys EXCEPT for this metal detecting ..looking for creative ways to keep the coil swinging maximum, In honesty old guys could probably get a little leniency from the law,
" Your Honor, on the alleged day that I was alledgedly observed alledgedly relieving myself, I plead not guilty, and say the only thing I can remember, is that I got a senior citizen discount cup of coffee that morning at Mickey Dees, my prostate was flaring up like a tiki torch, my nether regions in the lower gastrointestinal tract have a weak sphincter, from my years of dealing with the IRS, and were in a spasm like an anaconda choking a capybara....Its a good thing somebody called the cops, I was probably at deaths door there in that tot lot, behind the climbing wall, henceforth I must recuse myself from furthur proceedings, and recommend "censure" as a representative of myself"