I got down off the maintenance stand as per Rileys request and was not in a good mood. Some harrasment from the El Sombreroan's I could understand but what they thought of as harassment mixed in with some Murphy's law and things could go bad in a hurry....and almost had. Was something else coming? Wrack my brain and I couldn't think what it could be. I hated the thought of losing someone on what should have been a simple milk-run type of fix and fly job. Stomp's words kept echoing in my mind. "Trouble sticks to you like flies on a dead dog." Geez!! Is that what they thought? And then there was Riley and his Jinx crap.
I took it out on poor little old Squeaky who was standing there staring at me with his jaw hanging slack and those chihuahua puppy dog eyes. "Either go drink some of that Montezuma's Revenge or keep your butt under the wings shade," I yelled at him,"How many times do I have to tell you? I dont need you with heat exhaustion. If we aint out of here in about 30 minutes, Im going to pour water down you. I better not see no sunbeams hitting your scrawny butt again."
Everyone was giving me dirty looks and that was fine with me. I hammered away at each one of them, what they had found, what they had fixed, what they thought. I told them to gather up the loose pieces of equipment and unneeded tools and strap them tight to the cargo deck cause we had an ex jet-jocky pilot and he might put the old airplane thru a maneuver it never dreamed of going through and I didnt need anybody slapped up beside the head with flying pieces of crap. And finally, I got a dig in at Riley by saying that if Sir Riley Lancelot would quit wasting his time trying to break his lance off in the propeller of a P-51 mustang, maybe we could get the heck out of there. I turned to walk around to the other side of the airplane and heard the laughter and didnt need to turn around to know that Riley, or maybe all of them, was shooting me the bird.
I walked over, got some water, and squatted down there. Major Jackson followed me, got some water, and said "You got it all blowed out of your system now?"
I grinned and told him I felt some better and he said, "There is just one more thing, you dont lay hands on anyone else during my watch. Whatever you and Riley got going, you can settle it back at home base."
"Yes sir," I replied and asked, "are you reporting that?"
"No, but you can rest assured that my flight engineer will be down at the NCO club having a beer or two and will probably mention it and it will be all over SOF within a week. We are a pretty small outfit, you know."
"I hope it doesn't cause you any trouble." I said. I was also hoping it didn't cause me any trouble. I worked hard for my stripes and would hate to loose them.
"Trouble Im used to," he said and I told him he had better watch out or word would spread that trouble stuck to him like flies to a dead dog. We didnt say anything for a while after that.
There was only one gun toter near us there at the water barrel. I walked over to him like an inspecting officer while he gradually came unslouched. I walked completely around him like I was inspecting him till I was facing him again. This poor old boy had probably been picking banana's last week before embarking on a week long military carrer. At least thats what I was banking on. By the time I circled him he was at full attention and I reached out, took the gun from him, snapped the bolt open, looked down the gun barrel, snapped the bolt closed, popped the ammo clip and looked at it, snapped the ammo clip back in, handed him his gun, gave him a smile and the universal thumbs up sign. I stepped back sharply. I clicked my heels and he clicked his and I gave him a sharp salute and left him standing there grinning proudly. I glanced around to make sure the Mustache hadnt observed all that.
Stomp was slowly letting out a long breath as I walked back over to him. He wonted to know what the heck that was all about. "No bullets in the gun," I told him, "Ive been suspicioning as much cause they dont have any ammo belts or bandoleers, nothing but a rifle with a clip in it. And the clips are empty. We fly unarmed tweety birds all around trying to impress somebody and these troops harrass the heck out of us with empty guns and its all just one big farce with a lot of old flukey deals taking place that can get someone killed and Im fed up with it."
Stomp laughed and said he guessed we got lucky that none of those El Sombreroan troops was the type who just might have a bullet in his pocket. And then we went to build a fire under Riley so he would quit diddling around with that engine and we could get the heck out of there.
I looked at my watch. Just a little over two hours had elapsed since we off-loaded at the airplane. Not bad, not bad at all and if the Sombreroans hadnt been piddling and diddling with us, we would have done better. I was pretty much pleased but danged if I was gonna show it. About the time everyone gets to feeling buddy buddy and slapping each other on the back is when Murphy's law sneaks in and slaps somebody right upside the head.
I looked up the mustache and slipped him a five dollar bill to get one lousy coke. He said he could do it and sent one of his men scampering off down the ramp. Squeaky was squatting down under the wings shadow looking like a whipped puppy but when the coke arrived he perked right up and had the unmitigated gall to ask where his french fries were.
I took it out on poor little old Squeaky who was standing there staring at me with his jaw hanging slack and those chihuahua puppy dog eyes. "Either go drink some of that Montezuma's Revenge or keep your butt under the wings shade," I yelled at him,"How many times do I have to tell you? I dont need you with heat exhaustion. If we aint out of here in about 30 minutes, Im going to pour water down you. I better not see no sunbeams hitting your scrawny butt again."
Everyone was giving me dirty looks and that was fine with me. I hammered away at each one of them, what they had found, what they had fixed, what they thought. I told them to gather up the loose pieces of equipment and unneeded tools and strap them tight to the cargo deck cause we had an ex jet-jocky pilot and he might put the old airplane thru a maneuver it never dreamed of going through and I didnt need anybody slapped up beside the head with flying pieces of crap. And finally, I got a dig in at Riley by saying that if Sir Riley Lancelot would quit wasting his time trying to break his lance off in the propeller of a P-51 mustang, maybe we could get the heck out of there. I turned to walk around to the other side of the airplane and heard the laughter and didnt need to turn around to know that Riley, or maybe all of them, was shooting me the bird.
I walked over, got some water, and squatted down there. Major Jackson followed me, got some water, and said "You got it all blowed out of your system now?"
I grinned and told him I felt some better and he said, "There is just one more thing, you dont lay hands on anyone else during my watch. Whatever you and Riley got going, you can settle it back at home base."
"Yes sir," I replied and asked, "are you reporting that?"
"No, but you can rest assured that my flight engineer will be down at the NCO club having a beer or two and will probably mention it and it will be all over SOF within a week. We are a pretty small outfit, you know."
"I hope it doesn't cause you any trouble." I said. I was also hoping it didn't cause me any trouble. I worked hard for my stripes and would hate to loose them.
"Trouble Im used to," he said and I told him he had better watch out or word would spread that trouble stuck to him like flies to a dead dog. We didnt say anything for a while after that.
There was only one gun toter near us there at the water barrel. I walked over to him like an inspecting officer while he gradually came unslouched. I walked completely around him like I was inspecting him till I was facing him again. This poor old boy had probably been picking banana's last week before embarking on a week long military carrer. At least thats what I was banking on. By the time I circled him he was at full attention and I reached out, took the gun from him, snapped the bolt open, looked down the gun barrel, snapped the bolt closed, popped the ammo clip and looked at it, snapped the ammo clip back in, handed him his gun, gave him a smile and the universal thumbs up sign. I stepped back sharply. I clicked my heels and he clicked his and I gave him a sharp salute and left him standing there grinning proudly. I glanced around to make sure the Mustache hadnt observed all that.
Stomp was slowly letting out a long breath as I walked back over to him. He wonted to know what the heck that was all about. "No bullets in the gun," I told him, "Ive been suspicioning as much cause they dont have any ammo belts or bandoleers, nothing but a rifle with a clip in it. And the clips are empty. We fly unarmed tweety birds all around trying to impress somebody and these troops harrass the heck out of us with empty guns and its all just one big farce with a lot of old flukey deals taking place that can get someone killed and Im fed up with it."
Stomp laughed and said he guessed we got lucky that none of those El Sombreroan troops was the type who just might have a bullet in his pocket. And then we went to build a fire under Riley so he would quit diddling around with that engine and we could get the heck out of there.
I looked at my watch. Just a little over two hours had elapsed since we off-loaded at the airplane. Not bad, not bad at all and if the Sombreroans hadnt been piddling and diddling with us, we would have done better. I was pretty much pleased but danged if I was gonna show it. About the time everyone gets to feeling buddy buddy and slapping each other on the back is when Murphy's law sneaks in and slaps somebody right upside the head.
I looked up the mustache and slipped him a five dollar bill to get one lousy coke. He said he could do it and sent one of his men scampering off down the ramp. Squeaky was squatting down under the wings shadow looking like a whipped puppy but when the coke arrived he perked right up and had the unmitigated gall to ask where his french fries were.
Doesn't surprise me. Waiting anxiously for more !!