A
Anonymous
Guest
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was
probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy
the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in
your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few
who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric
fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it
back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot
him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I
want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up
or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it
was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.
probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy
the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in
your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few
who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric
fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it
back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot
him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I
want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up
or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it
was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.