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I'm sitting in the Jury waiting room now waiting to be called or excused by noon .... hopefully by then. BORING!
- Thread starter Ed SW Fla
- Start date
Craig in Alabama
New member
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scubadetector
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Say that in your experience with police officers, You don't believe anything they say, and you know they lie to get convictions!!!
POOF your gone!!
LOL as an ex cop I know unfortunately. You don't know how many times I was asked to lie.
What is tan and black and looks GREAT on a lawyer...
A doberman pincher.
When do you know a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
It got so cold last winter I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
And I hear they are going to use lawyers instead of labratory rats in new experiments. They have 3 reasons for that.
Lawyers are more plentiful than rats.
Lawyers have less brains than rats.
And there are just some things a rat won't do.
But there was a bus load of lawers that went missing on a country road in Georgia. The sheriff went looking for it, only to find the bus on its side on a turn and no lawyers in sight. The sheriff went to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. The old farmer answered and the sheriff asked him if he knew what happened to the lawyers. The farmer said he burried them.
The sheriff said They ALL died?? The farmer said well some said they weren't dead, but you know how lawyers lie.
POOF your gone!!
LOL as an ex cop I know unfortunately. You don't know how many times I was asked to lie.
What is tan and black and looks GREAT on a lawyer...
A doberman pincher.
When do you know a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
It got so cold last winter I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
And I hear they are going to use lawyers instead of labratory rats in new experiments. They have 3 reasons for that.
Lawyers are more plentiful than rats.
Lawyers have less brains than rats.
And there are just some things a rat won't do.
But there was a bus load of lawers that went missing on a country road in Georgia. The sheriff went looking for it, only to find the bus on its side on a turn and no lawyers in sight. The sheriff went to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. The old farmer answered and the sheriff asked him if he knew what happened to the lawyers. The farmer said he burried them.
The sheriff said They ALL died?? The farmer said well some said they weren't dead, but you know how lawyers lie.
Jim West Pa
New member
A good start.
scubadetector
New member
A waste of 2 good seats
A friend came over to my house with mud and weeds all over the front of his car, and then I noticed a lot of blood. I asked him what the heck happened. He said he accidently hit a lawyer. I said that explains the blood, what about the mud and weeds? He said, " I had to chase him through a field first"
And the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer in the road?
Skidmarks before the skunk.
A friend came over to my house with mud and weeds all over the front of his car, and then I noticed a lot of blood. I asked him what the heck happened. He said he accidently hit a lawyer. I said that explains the blood, what about the mud and weeds? He said, " I had to chase him through a field first"
And the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer in the road?
Skidmarks before the skunk.
Fred (S. Indiana)
Active member
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scubadetector
New member
Why do they bury lawyers 12' down instead of the customary 6 when they die.
Cause deep down they are really good people.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look great hanging from a tree.
And this big burly texan walks into a bar with a 15' alligator on a chain. He pounds his fist on the bar and yells, Bartender do you serve laywers here?
The bartender says Sure, no problem
The Texan says GREAT, I would like a beer and a wimpy lawyer for my alligator.
Cause deep down they are really good people.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look great hanging from a tree.
And this big burly texan walks into a bar with a 15' alligator on a chain. He pounds his fist on the bar and yells, Bartender do you serve laywers here?
The bartender says Sure, no problem
The Texan says GREAT, I would like a beer and a wimpy lawyer for my alligator.
Vernon in Virginia~Formerly Alaska
New member
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3Z2MP8vMWU&feature=player_embedded
Fred (S. Indiana)
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A
Anonymous
Guest
Hi Elson I am with you....Got a notice this year or last year that I might be called to Jury Duty and had to fill out info on myself! Well, since I can't afford the gas to go back and forth, I stated that and also being 76 and with health problems (COPD, Arthritis and could cough a lot) I haven't heard a word from them! What was surprising to me, that it and one other time I was notified (when I was coughing my head off enough to throw up, because of no ins and meds) for possible jury duty...being older) but wasn't ever notified while I was young but did work and had a family to take care of! God Is good and though I might have served, I never had to do so willingly or unwillingly!! 
Ma Betty
Ma Bettyscubadetector
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The dr said you have 3 choices, A dr's brain whish is 5 thousand dollars a pound, A software engineers brain which is 8 thousand dollars a pound and a lawyers brain which is 60 thousand dollars a pound. The guy says 60 thousand?? The dr said yes, do you realize how many lawyers it takes to get a pound of brains??
Finally at 2:00, 24 of us were ushered into the courtroom. We were told the defendant, who just happened to be black and about mid to late 50's, had been charged with possession of cocaine. He had no one to testify in his behalf and the state had two witnesses they would call.
The judge was asking the initial questions so that both attorney's, both young gals in their 30's, could decide who to use and who to excuse. They would ask their own questions after the judge finished.
The judge was interrupted at 2:50 with some questions from another jury in another room deliberating on a different case. We were excused for "10 minutes" outside the courtroom .... finally, 30 minutes later, at 3:20 we were called back in. The judge said since we all had been there since 8:00 AM and this trial would likely not even finish selecting jury until the next morning ..... we were all excused and the trial would be rescheduled at a later date.
One of the questions I was asked was, "Have you or someone you know ever been a victim of a crime?" My answer was , "Yes, some crackhead attempted to break into a friends home up the street from mine, thinking his home, with a new born baby and wife recovering from delivery inside, was the drug dealers home next door. Don't know if the slime-ball was arrested, just know the police were called after shots were fired".
Also told them I had my Ex store manager arrested and convicted for grand theft felony 2 from stealing from the store. I saw the defendant's attorney cross my name off her list.
As I left the courtroom, I looked at the cute state's attorney, she looked at me, I gave her the thumb's up and told her good luck. She smiled and nodded back to me. I got a glare from the judge.
The judge was asking the initial questions so that both attorney's, both young gals in their 30's, could decide who to use and who to excuse. They would ask their own questions after the judge finished.
The judge was interrupted at 2:50 with some questions from another jury in another room deliberating on a different case. We were excused for "10 minutes" outside the courtroom .... finally, 30 minutes later, at 3:20 we were called back in. The judge said since we all had been there since 8:00 AM and this trial would likely not even finish selecting jury until the next morning ..... we were all excused and the trial would be rescheduled at a later date.
One of the questions I was asked was, "Have you or someone you know ever been a victim of a crime?" My answer was , "Yes, some crackhead attempted to break into a friends home up the street from mine, thinking his home, with a new born baby and wife recovering from delivery inside, was the drug dealers home next door. Don't know if the slime-ball was arrested, just know the police were called after shots were fired".
Also told them I had my Ex store manager arrested and convicted for grand theft felony 2 from stealing from the store. I saw the defendant's attorney cross my name off her list.
As I left the courtroom, I looked at the cute state's attorney, she looked at me, I gave her the thumb's up and told her good luck. She smiled and nodded back to me. I got a glare from the judge.
Craig in Alabama
New member
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