I have a dilemma with my daughters Compadre!!

[88junior]

Well here's the story my boss borrowed my daughters Compadre for his wife to use to find a gold ring she lost in her flower bed, she found her ring within 15 mins and she was tickled to death to have it back. My boss brought it back to me and I put it up in my storage closet. A few weeks later she was murdered by her brother in a family dispute. Now when I look at this detector it reminds of the day she called happy as all get outs for me loaning her the detector and thanking me. So what should I do give the detector to him? I haven't had the nerves to turn it on! But my daughter would be detectorless till I can afford to get another one. So give me your insights what I should do.
Thanks

 

[richbat]

Sorry to hear about this but your detector had nothing to do with the family dispute.As far as giving him the machine it's really your call but it may stir emotions in him of that day finding the ring.Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[tvr]

88junior,
What a tragedy. I am so sorry for your boss and his family and how it affects all who knew her.

OK, so my opinions ... the detector is a tool that brings your daughter joy to use and brought this woman joy in the results when it was loaned to her. Embrace the joy using the detector brings. The detector did not have anything to do with the tragedy, it is just a tool. Disconnect the detector from the tragedy and connect it to the joy of using it and how it bonds you and your daughter when you are using it. Turn it on and go detecting with it.

If you need to talk to someone about what you are feeling, set up a session with a minister, priest or counselor and talk though it. I am not any one of those, so a "professional" may say I should talk to one myself!

Wish you the best!
tvr

 

[Hank68]

That is a tregedy to happen, I feel for the family, I would say give the detector a good wipe down clean it up just to say you did it, and keep using it, HH tigerhank68

 

[Elton]

Add that to the good memories you have............... The detector had nothing to do with the Terrible Tragedy..

.................. Think of the happiness she experienced when the ring was found ...............................

 

[Les in the UK]

You don't make others feel happy at the cost of your own family's happiness.
Your boss will always remember the look on his wife's face when she found the ring, he would not like to think of your daughters face- all upset and tearful at not having her detector.

PS
If you do give her metal detector away, i hope that she gives your car away.

PPS
I can tell from your post that your hurting and i feel for you, but by giving your daughters metal detector away you will only take the hurt away for a short time as every time that you look at your daughter you will feel bad as you have just given her metal detector away.

 

[88junior]

I will ask my daughter what she wants to do and go from there she uses it maybe 2-3 times a year so its not real sentimental to her so I may be able to give it to my boss then buy her a replacement in a month or so it's not like its a thousand dollar machine and their not scarce to get.

 

[fwcrawford]

I agree with Elton,
I would think of the joy it brought to the lady when she found her ring.. nothing sad about that.
You didn't have any control over the tragedy and your daughter didn't either so I wouldn't concern myself about
what to do with the detector.
Let your daughter have the detector and let her have some fun with it.
Just my thoughts,
Felix

 

[CaballoDeOro]

Sit down and talk with your daughter about it. The two of you might consider keeping the detector and before every hunt, quietly dedicate the enjoyment of the outing to the memory of your boss's wife.

 

[charlie dert]

Ask yourself if you think the deceased would want you to get rid of the detector or take something away from your child.

I would think the answer to both questions would be a definite no.

Tragic event no doubt...be the detector is just a device with no motive, thought or negative intentions....

Hope all the thoughtful feedback from everyone helps you make sense of this.

Charlie

 

[dixiedigger57]

as a retired cop, seeing more tragedy than one can imagine, you have to get a certain mindset. not callous or cold or uncaring, but accepting.. it was not the object that killed her. its no different than them coming over for supper and and having the best steak she ever ate off your grill. you need not sell the grill.

remember the old Serenity prayer:

God grant me the ability to change the things that i can change,
to accept the things i cannot change,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

items can be and are sentimental sometimes. they can be gone in a flash, stolen or burned or lost. work arsons, thefts, you understand.
was an arson victim myself as a child, --no salvage

use the detector, enjoy it, It was you who gave her the joy of finding the ring by furnishing the best tool for doing it---FRIENDSHIP. she had a friend--that cannot ever be disputed. she had a good memory herself. let your daughter have the joy of finding a ring herself. If the boss wants a machine he will ask about one. no reason for a good unit to collect dust. your kid has a long life ahead of her we all hope, let her enjoy the machine. the lady would i bet.

 

[88junior]

Thanks guys my daughter and I have talked and she said she thinks the right thing to do is keep it and use it! She said it may be blessed by her spirit and may bring her luck.

 

[razerback408]

Thanks guys my daughter and I have talked and she said she thinks the right thing to do is keep it and use it! She said it may be blessed by her spirit and may bring her luck.

you go girl

 

[Furious T]

Elton got it right, and I will add that it might bring your boss more sadness than happiness if you give it to him. With regards to yourself and your daughter and the detector, you are all distinctly removed from the lady who suffered a terrible fate at the hands of her brother. My suggestion is that you keep the detector, use it, and let your daughter use it when she wants to do so. Feel good about the fact that you gave the lady some happiness by loaning her the detector. Take care.