Craig in Alabama
New member
A small zoo in Cape Coral, Florida obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Ed,
a redneck that owns a hardware store who had been
responsible for repairing the animal cages.
Ed, like most hardware store owners had little sense
but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Ed was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla
for $500.00?
Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under five conditions:
'First', Ed said, 'I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.' The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
'Second', he said, 'She must wear a 'Gators Football' T-Shirt.'
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
'Third', he said, 'You can't never tell no one about this.' The keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.
'Fourth', Ed said, 'I want all the children raised Southern
Baptist.' Once again it was agreed.
'And last,' Ed said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00.'...
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Ed,
a redneck that owns a hardware store who had been
responsible for repairing the animal cages.
Ed, like most hardware store owners had little sense
but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Ed was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla
for $500.00?
Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under five conditions:
'First', Ed said, 'I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.' The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
'Second', he said, 'She must wear a 'Gators Football' T-Shirt.'
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
'Third', he said, 'You can't never tell no one about this.' The keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.
'Fourth', Ed said, 'I want all the children raised Southern
Baptist.' Once again it was agreed.
'And last,' Ed said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00.'...