Mike Chgo area
Well-known member
TOO GOOD NOT TO PASS ON.
_THE PERFECT DAY _– January 20, 2017
1. President Marco Rubio and Vice President Carly Fiorina are sworn
into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an
emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist
healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of Health and
Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of
healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare
services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the
duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs
for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance
premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves
billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S
improves 100%.
3. Newly appointed department of Homeland Security Chief Donald Trump
announces the immediate deployment of Troops to the U.S. Mexico border
to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of
illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. New
bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every American
citizen. Birthright is abolished. All immigration from countries that
represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated
indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars.
Several prisons are closed.
4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Ted
Cruz eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating
under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars.
Stocks rise 100%.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Rand Paul announces
the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax
Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist of two
pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American
Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongs. Her cell is directly
across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for
‘Hate Crimes”. She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars
of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.
7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is
directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris
Matthews and Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at ten and
discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout
the world. They also wonder when the “Mothership” is going to pick
them up and return them to their home planets.
8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try to
satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a
degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7
except it is easier to use.
9. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and
returns to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for treason begins.
He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was
last seen wandering through the jungle singing “Hakuna Matata”
with a chimp named Commie.
10. Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and
fat free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.
11. Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods announces the introduction of
several varieties of cholesterol and fat free cheeses that taste just
like regular cheese.
12. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global
cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
13. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow
for the Democratic Party in the State of Illinois.
----
_THE PERFECT DAY _– January 20, 2017
1. President Marco Rubio and Vice President Carly Fiorina are sworn
into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an
emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist
healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of Health and
Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of
healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare
services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the
duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs
for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance
premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves
billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S
improves 100%.
3. Newly appointed department of Homeland Security Chief Donald Trump
announces the immediate deployment of Troops to the U.S. Mexico border
to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of
illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. New
bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every American
citizen. Birthright is abolished. All immigration from countries that
represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated
indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars.
Several prisons are closed.
4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Ted
Cruz eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating
under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars.
Stocks rise 100%.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Rand Paul announces
the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax
Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist of two
pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American
Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongs. Her cell is directly
across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for
‘Hate Crimes”. She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars
of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.
7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is
directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris
Matthews and Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at ten and
discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout
the world. They also wonder when the “Mothership” is going to pick
them up and return them to their home planets.
8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try to
satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a
degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7
except it is easier to use.
9. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and
returns to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for treason begins.
He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was
last seen wandering through the jungle singing “Hakuna Matata”
with a chimp named Commie.
10. Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and
fat free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.
11. Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods announces the introduction of
several varieties of cholesterol and fat free cheeses that taste just
like regular cheese.
12. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global
cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
13. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow
for the Democratic Party in the State of Illinois.
----
SORRY MY CHOICE