When I was a teenager a family by the name of Wren moved in a house just down the road from us. His name was Hampton but everyone called him Hamp, his wife was Eljeanie and their daughter was Dorothy Jean. Hamp and Elgenie were mentally slow, not really retarded but not very bright either. Dorothy Jean was my age and mentally she never progressed beyond a six or seven year old level. Eljeanie was a sister to my youngest uncles wife Ozelle. Ozelle wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed either but she was somewhat smarter than Eljeanie. Hamp was a pretty good man, a hard worker that never complained and provided for his family as well as any man in the community. Better than some. About the only faults he had was that he loved homebrew and was overly strict with Dorothy Jean considering her handicap. He would whip her too often and hard for insignificant stuff when he got a little high.
He kept a 3 gallon stone jug of homebrew working off all the time and although I never saw him really bad drunk he did drink a lot of it. He had his homebrew hid from his wife in the woods behind his house, Eljeanie hated his drinking and he knew she was was constantly looking for it when he was at work. One day she found it. She started to pour it out but was a little scared of what Hamp might do and figured he would just start a new batch working anyway. She told Ozelle she had found it and Ozelle came up with a great idea, or so both believed. They bought two pounds of Epson Salts and poured in the homebrew.
Epson Salts have several uses, one of which is that it's a potent laxative, depending on the amount consumed, and Elgenie and Ozelle put enough in Hamps homebrew to keep an Elephant on the run for a month. They had no idea what it would do other than they hoped it would make him sick enough to swear off homebrew.
A few days later Hamp thought the homebrew was worked off and drank a glass full when he came in from work. That night his stomach started hurting so he went and drank another glass to make him feel better. Next morning he wasn't any better so he drank some more before he left for work. About noon he took the running drizzles and when he got home he headed for the homebrew again. He sat in the outhouse most of the night and was feeling so bad the next morning he drank some more. Everything he ate went straight through, Hamp was spending more time in outhouse than in the regular house. Eljeanie was scared to tell him what her and Ozelle had done so he kept drinking the homebrew and having the drizzling craps. By the time he finished the jug of homebrew he had lost nearly 30 pounds and looked like a walking corpse. Folks in the community were concerned about him, Emmitt Todd even took him to old Dr. Dabbs, but he didn't get any better until that batch of homebrew was gone. No one but Eljeanie and Ozelle knew what was wrong with Hamp until he did quit drinking a few months later and they told what they had done.
He kept a 3 gallon stone jug of homebrew working off all the time and although I never saw him really bad drunk he did drink a lot of it. He had his homebrew hid from his wife in the woods behind his house, Eljeanie hated his drinking and he knew she was was constantly looking for it when he was at work. One day she found it. She started to pour it out but was a little scared of what Hamp might do and figured he would just start a new batch working anyway. She told Ozelle she had found it and Ozelle came up with a great idea, or so both believed. They bought two pounds of Epson Salts and poured in the homebrew.
Epson Salts have several uses, one of which is that it's a potent laxative, depending on the amount consumed, and Elgenie and Ozelle put enough in Hamps homebrew to keep an Elephant on the run for a month. They had no idea what it would do other than they hoped it would make him sick enough to swear off homebrew.
A few days later Hamp thought the homebrew was worked off and drank a glass full when he came in from work. That night his stomach started hurting so he went and drank another glass to make him feel better. Next morning he wasn't any better so he drank some more before he left for work. About noon he took the running drizzles and when he got home he headed for the homebrew again. He sat in the outhouse most of the night and was feeling so bad the next morning he drank some more. Everything he ate went straight through, Hamp was spending more time in outhouse than in the regular house. Eljeanie was scared to tell him what her and Ozelle had done so he kept drinking the homebrew and having the drizzling craps. By the time he finished the jug of homebrew he had lost nearly 30 pounds and looked like a walking corpse. Folks in the community were concerned about him, Emmitt Todd even took him to old Dr. Dabbs, but he didn't get any better until that batch of homebrew was gone. No one but Eljeanie and Ozelle knew what was wrong with Hamp until he did quit drinking a few months later and they told what they had done.
Good story JB!
