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Gotta love those Texans:rofl: ...................

W

Wayne in BC

New member
Anybody we know?;)

Only a Texas man can make you feel like a woman.

A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning. A flight attendent lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die,' she cried. Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'

For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man from Texas stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.

Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time.

No one moved. He removed his shirt.

Muscles rippled across his chest.

She gasped...her knees started to buckle...she almost swooned.

Then, he spoke...


'Iron this -- and get me a Beer.'
 
n/t
 
Wayne and Roy were great golfing buddies, and made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.



After a long life Roy was the first to die. True to his word, he made verbal contact, "Wayne ......... Wayne. ": "Is that you, Roy?"



"Yes, I've come back just like we agreed."



"That's wonderful! What's it like in your afterlife?"



"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course, which is fantastic! I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again."



"Oh, Roy you surely must be in Heaven!"





"Not exactly......, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."
 
Kinda reminds me of the story of the hooker who , when she went to her clients place, told him that she would do anything, and she said ANYTHING, for $100.00, if he could state his request in 3 words or less.

The client thought about it, went outside for a minute, came back in and whispered in her ear.... "Paint my house":

calm seas

Mikie
 
n/t
 
n/t
 
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