A
Anonymous
Guest
I just recieved this in my mail and thought I would pass it on. These are lessons we all need to learn "D
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the
CEO
standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document,
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" .
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
inserted
the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside
the
machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson I - Never! Never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the
window:
"I want to open a damn chequeing account."
To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I
must
have
misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up bi*tch! I said, I want to open a damn chequeing account
right
now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of
language
in this bank."
Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the
bank
manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and
the
manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" .
"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says, "I just won
50
million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn chequeing
account in this damn bank!"
"I see," says the manager thoughtfully, "And you're saying that this
bi*tch
here is giving you a hard time?"
Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA
when
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of ese are
you?"
Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what
you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of ese are you?" Again, the
Japanese
was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of ese are
you...Are
you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc.?"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind
of
'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
'-key'
am
I?"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkey?"
Lesson III - Never insult anyone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to
a
meeting. On their way through a park , they come across a wonder
lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one
is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish
each."
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to
be
in
the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he
was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, "I want to
be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."
Pfufffff,
and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want those two idiots back in the office
after
lunch!"
Lesson IV - "Always allow the bosses to speak first"
Now I gotta get to reading posts <img src="/metal/html/grin.gif" border=0 width=15 height=15 alt=":grin">
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the
CEO
standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document,
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" .
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
inserted
the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside
the
machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson I - Never! Never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the
window:
"I want to open a damn chequeing account."
To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I
must
have
misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up bi*tch! I said, I want to open a damn chequeing account
right
now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of
language
in this bank."
Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the
bank
manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and
the
manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" .
"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says, "I just won
50
million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn chequeing
account in this damn bank!"
"I see," says the manager thoughtfully, "And you're saying that this
bi*tch
here is giving you a hard time?"
Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA
when
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of ese are
you?"
Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what
you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of ese are you?" Again, the
Japanese
was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of ese are
you...Are
you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc.?"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind
of
'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
'-key'
am
I?"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkey?"
Lesson III - Never insult anyone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to
a
meeting. On their way through a park , they come across a wonder
lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one
is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish
each."
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to
be
in
the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he
was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, "I want to
be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."
Pfufffff,
and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want those two idiots back in the office
after
lunch!"
Lesson IV - "Always allow the bosses to speak first"
Now I gotta get to reading posts <img src="/metal/html/grin.gif" border=0 width=15 height=15 alt=":grin">
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