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For you self-employed people...

A man owned a small ranch in Montana.
The Wage &Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages
to his help.

They sent agents out to interview &investigate the accusations.
Upon arrival at the ranch, they demanded," We need a list of your
employees and how much you pay them."
The rancher replied, "There's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3
years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board."

The cook has been here for 18 months, "I pay her $500 per week plus
free room and board".
Finally there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours every day
and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes $10 per week
and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night."

"That's the guy we want to talk to - the half-wit," said the agents.
"That would be me," replied the rancher.
 
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