like the toothache cure and different poultices and such. I think I ran onto a cure of sorts in my experimenting when cooking. I told you about the mac and chili last week.
Now I like Pork and Beans and like a can occasionally. Another thing I really love is boiled cabbage.
The problem with the beans is that it gives me a bit of gas, you know what I mean? It is not a problem since I am up here alone but occasionally I have a friend over and it seems to offend them a bit. Heck I told them that they just had to hang around and they might get to like it. I never did but my friends are sorta like pigs
Well the other night I heated up a can of beans. This one was that expensive kind you get a Walmart with a piece of pork fat in it. Great stuff.
]
Now I was looking for something else to have with it and found a bowl of boiled cabbage. Mary don't let me cook it if she is gonna be up here but I dun it after she left That was a few days ago, well a few weeks ago actually and the cabbage was a getting funky. A real man don't throw away any food just because it has passed its expiration date you know, so I decided to peal off the funky sorta spots, real slimy and black looking but only on the outside couple layers.
I peeled off the funky stuff and it didn't stink nearly as bad. I guess. Anyway it looked good to me and I didn't really have to stick my nose down in the dang stuff to cook it anyway.
Now a feller uses his head in this cooking stuff. I am like most guys and don't figure there is any reason to dirty more dishes than necessary. Heck I already had a big can of Pork and Beans in that pot and I figured I was gonna just chew it up in one mouth, at the same time I might add and then swaller it, so why use up two pots to heat it up in? Just don't make sense to me and besides the beans might take away a bit of the stank of the aged cabbage!
Kant tell me I an a thinker now kan ya?
Well I heard the beans a sizzling, I guess I should have taken them off the burner while I was a picking the muck off the cabbage. They were not a bubbling but a sizzling like they do out of the can and setting on a hot burner. Well I grabbed a spoon and started a sturing and turned down the burner. I then plopped the bowl of boiled cabbage into the beans. Lordy, that be a fukny looking mess but I am sure about then that it is gonna be good. Couldn't tell by the smell but you can not always go by the smell. Some funky stuff it right good, I figure.
Well I stur that stuff up, add some of this special season stuff I like a lot and add some tabasco. Mebby a little more tabasco Dang eyes a burning and nose a running now! Gotta keep my head out from above the dang pot, I do! Don't want no tears or nose droppings falling in the pot! Might make it uneatable if someone saw me do it!
I had the heat turned down by now and it was a simmering along nice like. I went and opened the doorwall and the kitchen window. Dang cabbage stunk like a horses arse! This ort to drive the dang squirrels out of the yard! Did I tell you that I had a half dozen turkey in the back yard the other morning?
well back to the cooking. You gotta watch your cooking close because if you don't you might spoil the food. Don't want to do that! For sure
I look down in that pot, Now I am here to tell you that some times that is not a good idea! This mess looked like shat! All brown beans and green cabbage and a big lump of pig fat a simmering. It looked sorta like the time my uncles dog ate the Crayolas and crapped the on the biggest cabbage in my garden, only my pot did not have any reds or oranges. If it did I would have probably thowed it out! Don't eat anything with brown, green, red and orange in it lessen it has "M&M" stamped on the side of it.
Anyway, soon it was done and I filled up a bowl. I figure if Mary was there she would not have eaten any anyway because she is a vegetarian and that pot had a chunk of pig fat in it. She is sorta fussy like. Dang pot stunk anyway.
Well I pull the pot off the stove and get a bowl. A big bowl because I like lots to eat. Dang! I thought about going in the bathroom and gettin some vicks to put under my nose, like those autopsy fellers do, to keep down the stank but figured I could stand it. I put my cell in my shirt pocket in case I had to call 911. Pays to be safty minded you know.
I went to the table and sat down. Getting colder than hell in the house because of the doorwall and kitchen window but at the time they had to stay open!
I looked at the bowl and it didn't look all that bad. I had cooked up worse and it was usually good. I dug in and you know what? It was good!
I ate the whole bowl and there is plenty for tonight. I am not sure I am gonna have it again tonight though. Now comes the part about the home remedies.
You know where I said the beans make you a mite gassy. Waaaaallllll, I guarantee. You will still be gassy from the beans but if you eat a meal like this,,,,,,,You will, I guarantee, not pass no dang wind! Not after the first time anyway. You dang well will be a passing something else but not wind. It is not the sort of meal to relax after, that is for sure.
I hope this inspires you fellers to try out cooking when the little lady is out getting her toenails curled or what ever they do. Out riding around in their little itsey bitsey hotrod or something like that there
Now I like Pork and Beans and like a can occasionally. Another thing I really love is boiled cabbage.
The problem with the beans is that it gives me a bit of gas, you know what I mean? It is not a problem since I am up here alone but occasionally I have a friend over and it seems to offend them a bit. Heck I told them that they just had to hang around and they might get to like it. I never did but my friends are sorta like pigs
Well the other night I heated up a can of beans. This one was that expensive kind you get a Walmart with a piece of pork fat in it. Great stuff.
]
Now I was looking for something else to have with it and found a bowl of boiled cabbage. Mary don't let me cook it if she is gonna be up here but I dun it after she left
That was a few days ago, well a few weeks ago actually and the cabbage was a getting funky. A real man don't throw away any food just because it has passed its expiration date you know, so I decided to peal off the funky sorta spots, real slimy and black looking but only on the outside couple layers. I peeled off the funky stuff and it didn't stink nearly as bad. I guess. Anyway it looked good to me and I didn't really have to stick my nose down in the dang stuff to cook it anyway.
Now a feller uses his head in this cooking stuff. I am like most guys and don't figure there is any reason to dirty more dishes than necessary. Heck I already had a big can of Pork and Beans in that pot and I figured I was gonna just chew it up in one mouth, at the same time I might add and then swaller it, so why use up two pots to heat it up in? Just don't make sense to me and besides the beans might take away a bit of the stank of the aged cabbage!
Kant tell me I an a thinker now kan ya?Well I heard the beans a sizzling, I guess I should have taken them off the burner while I was a picking the muck off the cabbage. They were not a bubbling but a sizzling like they do out of the can and setting on a hot burner. Well I grabbed a spoon and started a sturing and turned down the burner. I then plopped the bowl of boiled cabbage into the beans. Lordy, that be a fukny looking mess but I am sure about then that it is gonna be good. Couldn't tell by the smell but you can not always go by the smell. Some funky stuff it right good, I figure.
Well I stur that stuff up, add some of this special season stuff I like a lot and add some tabasco. Mebby a little more tabasco
Dang eyes a burning and nose a running now! Gotta keep my head out from above the dang pot, I do! Don't want no tears or nose droppings falling in the pot! Might make it uneatable if someone saw me do it!I had the heat turned down by now and it was a simmering along nice like. I went and opened the doorwall and the kitchen window. Dang cabbage stunk like a horses arse! This ort to drive the dang squirrels out of the yard! Did I tell you that I had a half dozen turkey in the back yard the other morning?
well back to the cooking. You gotta watch your cooking close because if you don't you might spoil the food. Don't want to do that! For sure
I look down in that pot, Now I am here to tell you that some times that is not a good idea! This mess looked like shat! All brown beans and green cabbage and a big lump of pig fat a simmering. It looked sorta like the time my uncles dog ate the Crayolas and crapped the on the biggest cabbage in my garden, only my pot did not have any reds or oranges. If it did I would have probably thowed it out! Don't eat anything with brown, green, red and orange in it lessen it has "M&M" stamped on the side of it.
Anyway, soon it was done and I filled up a bowl. I figure if Mary was there she would not have eaten any anyway because she is a vegetarian and that pot had a chunk of pig fat in it. She is sorta fussy like. Dang pot stunk anyway.
Well I pull the pot off the stove and get a bowl. A big bowl because I like lots to eat. Dang! I thought about going in the bathroom and gettin some vicks to put under my nose, like those autopsy fellers do, to keep down the stank but figured I could stand it. I put my cell in my shirt pocket in case I had to call 911. Pays to be safty minded you know.
I went to the table and sat down. Getting colder than hell in the house because of the doorwall and kitchen window but at the time they had to stay open!
I looked at the bowl and it didn't look all that bad. I had cooked up worse and it was usually good. I dug in and you know what? It was good!
I ate the whole bowl and there is plenty for tonight. I am not sure I am gonna have it again tonight though. Now comes the part about the home remedies.
You know where I said the beans make you a mite gassy. Waaaaallllll, I guarantee. You will still be gassy from the beans but if you eat a meal like this,,,,,,,You will, I guarantee, not pass no dang wind! Not after the first time anyway. You dang well will be a passing something else but not wind. It is not the sort of meal to relax after, that is for sure.
I hope this inspires you fellers to try out cooking when the little lady is out getting her toenails curled or what ever they do. Out riding around in their little itsey bitsey hotrod or something like that there
