I knew, and worked with, Dumas Wayne Oswalt for a lot of years. He was a typical "good old boy" redneck who love hunting, fishing, chewing tobacco and all the other pursuits common to southern rednecks. He had little education, and was far from the sharpest tool in the shed, but was a good guy, a hard worker and in addition to holding a regular job he owned a good size farm and raised beef cattle for sale to the public. He was also a Jonah. For those who don't know, a Jonah is someone who has a lot of luck, that's all bad, and also brings bad luck to those around them.
Dumas Wayne was constantly having problems with everything he owned. He would buy a new pickup, two weeks later it would quit; a new tractor and the axle would break the first time he used it; lightening would hit his neighbors house and trash every electric appliance in Dumas's house while not damaging a single appliance in the house it hit; a high priced breeding bull that was gay; going to the dentist with a tooth-ache and the dentist pulling the wrong tooth--twice. He was a walking example of Murphy's Law, anything that could possibly go wrong always went wrong for Dumas Wayne.
In the middle 1960's one of my ex-brother in laws, Robert Hall, and Dumas Wayne were close friends and hunting buddies. Robert was a bootlegger, but never did well at it as he drank as much of his stock as he sold, and on more than one occasion caused problems for Dumas Wayne. This short story is an incident, caused by Robert, that went wrong for Dumas Wayne.
Late on a Friday afternoon two men. Bob Bailey and Ralph Barber, who had went in partners with Dumas Wayne on a few head of beef stock were at Dumas Wayne's farm looking at the cattle. When they were leaving they stopped in Dumas's yard to talk about buying feed and while they were talking Robert went by in his car at a high rate of speed. Dumas's farm was on a narrow gravel road that had a sharp curve about a hundred yards from Dumas Waynes's house, and on the outside of the curve was a neighbors house. Robert was going so fast he didn't make the curve and spun off the road into those peoples yard. He then spun out of the yard and went back by Dumas Wayne's house in the direction he had came from.
A couple of minutes later Robert came by again, running as fast as his car would go, and spun off the road in the curve and into the neighbors yard again. And again he spun out of the yard and went back the way he came. When he went by Ralph Barber said, "Dumas, that nut is your friend. If he comes by again you need to see if you can stop him before he kills himself or worse, somebody else."
In a few seconds they heard Robert coming again and Dumas Wayne ran out on the road and started waving his arms. Robert saw him, slammed on his brakes, slid to a stop, jumped out and fell down. Robert was drunk as a skunk eating fermenting persimmons. It took awhile but Dumas Wayne talked Robert into letting him take him home. Ralph told Dumas Wayne he would follow them and bring Dumas back home but Dumas said he take Roberts car home and get Roberts wife to bring him back.
Everything seemed to be under control, but Dumas Wayne's bad luck struck again. Unbeknown to him, his neighbors who lived in the curve had called the Sheriff's Department and reported a lunatic trying to destroy their yard with a car. They gave the law Roberts tag number, they ran a make on it and when Roberts name came up they knew he was drunk again. They radioed a deputy in the area to be on the lookout for a black and white ford with a drunk driving it. More bad luck for Dumas Wayne. The deputy didn't know Robert or what he looked like, and Dumas Wayne just happened to pull out from the gravel road onto the main highway just as the Deputy went by.
The deputy pulled Dumas Wayne over, ran up to the car door and drug Dumas out. Dumas was trying to explain, the deputy thought he was resisting arrest and beat the snot out of him with his billy club. He handcuffed Dumas Wayne, threw him in the back seat of the patrol car, went back and told Robert to take that drunks car home if he didn't mind that he was taking the drunk to jail.
Robert went home and never told anyone what happened, and since Dumas Wayne wasn't married there wasn't anyone to miss him. Monday morning Dumas Wayne didn't show up for work. That afternoon Ralph Barber, who was supervisor where Dumas Wayne and I worked, went by Dumas Wayne's house to see why he missed work. He couldn't find him, and was afraid Dumas was out in a pasture somewhere with a heart attack or some other catastrophic problems. Ralph called Bob, and some others, and they hunted the entire farm looking for Dumas Wayne. At dark they gave up and Ralph called the Sheriff's department to file a missing persons report. When he was describing Dumas Wayne the officer he was talking to said they had a guy matching that description locked up for DUI, possession and reckless driving. Ralph went and bailed him out, Dumas Wayne came to work the next morning and still had black places and knots where the deputy clubbed him. He wound up paying a fine to keep from going to court but never had any hard feelings toward Robert for not telling anyone what happened.
Dumas Wayne passed away last week, I saw the obituary in the paper and have been thinking about him off and on the last couple of days. He was a true "good old boy", willing to help anyone at anytime without complaint. May he be long remembered.
Dumas Wayne was constantly having problems with everything he owned. He would buy a new pickup, two weeks later it would quit; a new tractor and the axle would break the first time he used it; lightening would hit his neighbors house and trash every electric appliance in Dumas's house while not damaging a single appliance in the house it hit; a high priced breeding bull that was gay; going to the dentist with a tooth-ache and the dentist pulling the wrong tooth--twice. He was a walking example of Murphy's Law, anything that could possibly go wrong always went wrong for Dumas Wayne.
In the middle 1960's one of my ex-brother in laws, Robert Hall, and Dumas Wayne were close friends and hunting buddies. Robert was a bootlegger, but never did well at it as he drank as much of his stock as he sold, and on more than one occasion caused problems for Dumas Wayne. This short story is an incident, caused by Robert, that went wrong for Dumas Wayne.
Late on a Friday afternoon two men. Bob Bailey and Ralph Barber, who had went in partners with Dumas Wayne on a few head of beef stock were at Dumas Wayne's farm looking at the cattle. When they were leaving they stopped in Dumas's yard to talk about buying feed and while they were talking Robert went by in his car at a high rate of speed. Dumas's farm was on a narrow gravel road that had a sharp curve about a hundred yards from Dumas Waynes's house, and on the outside of the curve was a neighbors house. Robert was going so fast he didn't make the curve and spun off the road into those peoples yard. He then spun out of the yard and went back by Dumas Wayne's house in the direction he had came from.
A couple of minutes later Robert came by again, running as fast as his car would go, and spun off the road in the curve and into the neighbors yard again. And again he spun out of the yard and went back the way he came. When he went by Ralph Barber said, "Dumas, that nut is your friend. If he comes by again you need to see if you can stop him before he kills himself or worse, somebody else."
In a few seconds they heard Robert coming again and Dumas Wayne ran out on the road and started waving his arms. Robert saw him, slammed on his brakes, slid to a stop, jumped out and fell down. Robert was drunk as a skunk eating fermenting persimmons. It took awhile but Dumas Wayne talked Robert into letting him take him home. Ralph told Dumas Wayne he would follow them and bring Dumas back home but Dumas said he take Roberts car home and get Roberts wife to bring him back.
Everything seemed to be under control, but Dumas Wayne's bad luck struck again. Unbeknown to him, his neighbors who lived in the curve had called the Sheriff's Department and reported a lunatic trying to destroy their yard with a car. They gave the law Roberts tag number, they ran a make on it and when Roberts name came up they knew he was drunk again. They radioed a deputy in the area to be on the lookout for a black and white ford with a drunk driving it. More bad luck for Dumas Wayne. The deputy didn't know Robert or what he looked like, and Dumas Wayne just happened to pull out from the gravel road onto the main highway just as the Deputy went by.
The deputy pulled Dumas Wayne over, ran up to the car door and drug Dumas out. Dumas was trying to explain, the deputy thought he was resisting arrest and beat the snot out of him with his billy club. He handcuffed Dumas Wayne, threw him in the back seat of the patrol car, went back and told Robert to take that drunks car home if he didn't mind that he was taking the drunk to jail.
Robert went home and never told anyone what happened, and since Dumas Wayne wasn't married there wasn't anyone to miss him. Monday morning Dumas Wayne didn't show up for work. That afternoon Ralph Barber, who was supervisor where Dumas Wayne and I worked, went by Dumas Wayne's house to see why he missed work. He couldn't find him, and was afraid Dumas was out in a pasture somewhere with a heart attack or some other catastrophic problems. Ralph called Bob, and some others, and they hunted the entire farm looking for Dumas Wayne. At dark they gave up and Ralph called the Sheriff's department to file a missing persons report. When he was describing Dumas Wayne the officer he was talking to said they had a guy matching that description locked up for DUI, possession and reckless driving. Ralph went and bailed him out, Dumas Wayne came to work the next morning and still had black places and knots where the deputy clubbed him. He wound up paying a fine to keep from going to court but never had any hard feelings toward Robert for not telling anyone what happened.
Dumas Wayne passed away last week, I saw the obituary in the paper and have been thinking about him off and on the last couple of days. He was a true "good old boy", willing to help anyone at anytime without complaint. May he be long remembered.
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