Wayne in BC
New member
I am leaving this letter by your food dish for two reasons. Firstly because you cannot then claim you did not see it as we both know that you check said food dish 47 times per day and secondly because we also both know that you understand and read english perfectly well! Proof being that article in last weeks paper stating that the old way of curing dog worms and fleas by using kerosene poured down the throat is still the best way......was the only part you chewed up! I saw that article online and you are toast hound!
Another thing i must mention is, no matter how much you dislike my buddies wife, you MUST remain cool and NOT pretend that the catlitter box is snack food then try to kiss her! Also i know that her little lapdog is a pain in the butt and 1/10th your size, but pretending to want to hump it just makes you look silly as it is 1/10th your size, the same sex as you and appears to enjoy it!
Now, about yesterdays little incident with the neighbors tame Rabbit......
Yes Rabbits are stupid and taste good, and they do not know whose yard is which, nor do they understand that once chased into their own yard that they are not safe!.....So.....eating them in front of pain the butt neighbor woman.......uh, ok, we will let that one go this one time, sigh.
Don't pretend you do not remember eating a lb of grass and a rotting Squirrel carcass, then waiting until you got to the new livingroom rug to puke! No more of that crap either! Also, pretending you heard something outside and going WOOF! just as your mistress is taking buns out of the oven is NOT a good way to remind "herself" that you are MY dog! Ya i know that you got a couple buns out of the deal but that was 6 months back and herself is still telling our friends that it was MY fault! You really need to learn to understand human women, what turns out good for you affects me, often in a very bad way and i may just hang you out to dry one of these days........
Remember that dumbazz young Lab cross that always barked his few brains out when his mistress came by our gate with him and how you wanted so bad to whip his butt? That day you bit his butt all the way home, about half a mile, well those neighbors still hate me and if you had been thinking, you would have ignored me when i said, sorta under my breath, "get him Bootsie!" Its a good thing he was fully inside our yard and peeing on one of herself's trees when you nailed the sucker! Thats the only thing that saved me from a lawsuit i reckon, and the place you bit him in, well lets just say that he will never be a boyfriend of yours when he grows up.
Now where was i? Oh yes, about that those fish guts you dug up from underneath the fruit trees. They were for fertiliser, not doggy perfume! I know you hated that bath with the water hose and and i remind you that i hated the time spent steam cleaning herself's rug, chair, and couch, all of which you tried out for comfort when you came inside with the waves of putrid odor that could be seen!.......
BTW, you scaring that Bear out of the country last night has endeared you to herself even more but don't push it! Now, where was i again, ummmmm........
Just wanted to tell you that we love you and miss you!
In memory of Boots, 2000/2006 gosh we loved you!
Another thing i must mention is, no matter how much you dislike my buddies wife, you MUST remain cool and NOT pretend that the catlitter box is snack food then try to kiss her! Also i know that her little lapdog is a pain in the butt and 1/10th your size, but pretending to want to hump it just makes you look silly as it is 1/10th your size, the same sex as you and appears to enjoy it!
Now, about yesterdays little incident with the neighbors tame Rabbit......
Yes Rabbits are stupid and taste good, and they do not know whose yard is which, nor do they understand that once chased into their own yard that they are not safe!.....So.....eating them in front of pain the butt neighbor woman.......uh, ok, we will let that one go this one time, sigh.
Don't pretend you do not remember eating a lb of grass and a rotting Squirrel carcass, then waiting until you got to the new livingroom rug to puke! No more of that crap either! Also, pretending you heard something outside and going WOOF! just as your mistress is taking buns out of the oven is NOT a good way to remind "herself" that you are MY dog! Ya i know that you got a couple buns out of the deal but that was 6 months back and herself is still telling our friends that it was MY fault! You really need to learn to understand human women, what turns out good for you affects me, often in a very bad way and i may just hang you out to dry one of these days........
Remember that dumbazz young Lab cross that always barked his few brains out when his mistress came by our gate with him and how you wanted so bad to whip his butt? That day you bit his butt all the way home, about half a mile, well those neighbors still hate me and if you had been thinking, you would have ignored me when i said, sorta under my breath, "get him Bootsie!" Its a good thing he was fully inside our yard and peeing on one of herself's trees when you nailed the sucker! Thats the only thing that saved me from a lawsuit i reckon, and the place you bit him in, well lets just say that he will never be a boyfriend of yours when he grows up.
Now where was i? Oh yes, about that those fish guts you dug up from underneath the fruit trees. They were for fertiliser, not doggy perfume! I know you hated that bath with the water hose and and i remind you that i hated the time spent steam cleaning herself's rug, chair, and couch, all of which you tried out for comfort when you came inside with the waves of putrid odor that could be seen!.......
BTW, you scaring that Bear out of the country last night has endeared you to herself even more but don't push it! Now, where was i again, ummmmm........
Just wanted to tell you that we love you and miss you!
In memory of Boots, 2000/2006 gosh we loved you!
