I stopped in Butch's pawn and gun shop a couple of days ago to see if he had any camera or detecting equipment. Butch has more guns and ammo in his place than everybody else in the rest of the county put together and will trade for anything as long as he makes a few bucks. There's always a bunch of good old boys sitting in there, trying to trade guns, dipping snuff or chewing tobacco and telling tall tales, so in addition to the wide variety of stuff Butch has it's an entertaining place to visit. Butch had two cameras that dated from the mid 1970's, the same two he's had for at least 10 years, and a low end Bounty Hunter metal detector that sells new from Kellyco for $69.99. As usual, the first thing he asked when I went it was if I was still buying cameras. Not wanting to go through the same useless dickering he and I have went through probably twenty times over those same old cameras I told him no, I stopped fooling with them three or four years ago. I said I might be interested in the metal detector if the price was right and went over to check it out.
The lower rod was broken, the plastic cover over the intensity meter was taped on one side and loose on the other and the batteries were corroded solid. Didn't take 5 seconds to look at it, it was junk to start with but completely useless in the condition it's in. When I set it down Butch said that it was a topnotch detector and asked what I would give for it. I replied that I never put a price on other folks stuff, he said give him a 100 bucks and I could take it home. I almost strangled laughing. He huffed up and said all right then, what would you give. I said $10, maybe 15, but that was tops, he huffed up more and said he would keep it till hades freezes over before he'd give it away.
Two guys came in with guns to trade so I went over to where a couple of the good old boys, Claudell Smith and Bud "Bulldog" Payne, were swapping yarns to listen a spell. Normally the conversations are about deer hunting, 4 wheel drive pickups, guns, who can drink the most and still walk, dogs or women, usually in that order, but this time Claudell was telling Bulldog about something he had heard on the radio. He was saying, "Thet there pope feller is old and got sumpin' wrong with'em that makes him goofy. They sed he weren't gonna live long." Bulldog spit a gob of tobacco juice in a cup and said, "Sh!t Claudell, old Ben Pope's been dead fer 10 years. Where you been?" Claudell said. "Not Ben ye dang old fool, they wuz tawking bout thet there catlick feller that's over thet there big church."
I had read a joke online not long ago that was almost exactly like their conversation so I inserted a slightly modified line from the joke and said, "You know, every pope I've seen on tv, read or heard about was a Catholic. That don't seem right, I think it's about time they let someone else run it for awhile."
Bulldog spat another big mouthfull of tobacco juice out, looked up and said, "You got that sh!t right boy, they need to let a Baptist run it fer a change, or maybe one of them pennycostals. A good Baptist preacher would clean that sorry bunch up in a hurry." Claudell said, "Hail yeah man, I'm witcha a hunnert purcent on thet!" and started talking about Oscar Bunch's crosseyed wife so I eased out and let them talk.
They're just two of the many good old boys in the south, I enjoy being around them and sometimes envy them. Most don't have much, but to them life is simple, plentiful enough to get by on and as long as there's deer, guns, 4 wheel drive pickups, tobacco and snuff, Budweiser beer and interesting stuff to talk about they're happy and most will never change
.
The lower rod was broken, the plastic cover over the intensity meter was taped on one side and loose on the other and the batteries were corroded solid. Didn't take 5 seconds to look at it, it was junk to start with but completely useless in the condition it's in. When I set it down Butch said that it was a topnotch detector and asked what I would give for it. I replied that I never put a price on other folks stuff, he said give him a 100 bucks and I could take it home. I almost strangled laughing. He huffed up and said all right then, what would you give. I said $10, maybe 15, but that was tops, he huffed up more and said he would keep it till hades freezes over before he'd give it away.
Two guys came in with guns to trade so I went over to where a couple of the good old boys, Claudell Smith and Bud "Bulldog" Payne, were swapping yarns to listen a spell. Normally the conversations are about deer hunting, 4 wheel drive pickups, guns, who can drink the most and still walk, dogs or women, usually in that order, but this time Claudell was telling Bulldog about something he had heard on the radio. He was saying, "Thet there pope feller is old and got sumpin' wrong with'em that makes him goofy. They sed he weren't gonna live long." Bulldog spit a gob of tobacco juice in a cup and said, "Sh!t Claudell, old Ben Pope's been dead fer 10 years. Where you been?" Claudell said. "Not Ben ye dang old fool, they wuz tawking bout thet there catlick feller that's over thet there big church."
I had read a joke online not long ago that was almost exactly like their conversation so I inserted a slightly modified line from the joke and said, "You know, every pope I've seen on tv, read or heard about was a Catholic. That don't seem right, I think it's about time they let someone else run it for awhile."
Bulldog spat another big mouthfull of tobacco juice out, looked up and said, "You got that sh!t right boy, they need to let a Baptist run it fer a change, or maybe one of them pennycostals. A good Baptist preacher would clean that sorry bunch up in a hurry." Claudell said, "Hail yeah man, I'm witcha a hunnert purcent on thet!" and started talking about Oscar Bunch's crosseyed wife so I eased out and let them talk.
They're just two of the many good old boys in the south, I enjoy being around them and sometimes envy them. Most don't have much, but to them life is simple, plentiful enough to get by on and as long as there's deer, guns, 4 wheel drive pickups, tobacco and snuff, Budweiser beer and interesting stuff to talk about they're happy and most will never change
.
