Remember last year or the year before when Bubba's house got broken into? Well, he went out and got himself a relatively inexpensive security system. Cheap but very effective. Here's the instructions from the kit he bought:
Bubba's Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.
3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines (Include a deer thigh-bone).
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Slammer, Slim, Bean, and I went for more hollow-point ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it. Thank God! It was hard to tell, though, from all the blood. Took Miss Vicki hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em dogs up in the house. Better wait outside. They're kinda spooked.
We be right back, Bubba
Bubba's Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.
3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines (Include a deer thigh-bone).
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Slammer, Slim, Bean, and I went for more hollow-point ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it. Thank God! It was hard to tell, though, from all the blood. Took Miss Vicki hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em dogs up in the house. Better wait outside. They're kinda spooked.
We be right back, Bubba
