Vernon in Virginia~Formerly Alaska
New member
[size=large]"Oh Yes, They Call Him the Streak"[/size]
By Vernon Cross
[size=medium]I was walking around groggily, sipping on my first cup of morning coffee when I heard my wife start the van. She drives the one mile to the mailbox and back each morning on our dusty Alaskan gravel road to get the mail. Just after she left, my four year old daughter Sarah turned from the window and calmly told me that mama was dragging my metal detector down the road on a curly black rope... ever get that instant sick feeling, accompanied by uncontrollable anxiety?
"Are you sure it was Daddy's metal detector?" I ask. "Yep," she said. "Was the back door on the van open?" I asked. "Nope, just your metal detector, dragging down the road on a curly black rope." was her frank reply.
I keep my White's XLT and 6000 Di Pro just inside the backdoors of the van. We also put groceries in there when we go shopping, which we had just done the night before. My three girls help unload groceries, and are not good at closing the back door when they 're done, so the story is starting to take on more validity every second.
I grabbed the phone and tried calling her on the cell phone, but I knew she wouldn't have it on for the mail run. I couldn't get the picture out of my mind of my detector bouncing, skipping, and being yanked along a mile of gravel road by the headphone cable tangled around the handle.
Wearing nothing but a white terry cloth robe, I yanked on my unlaced hunting boots, and hit the door at a run. Down the driveway, and out onto the gravel road I ran, showing an embarrassing amount of hairy bare legs. Clutching the robe together at the (ahem) waist, I tried to keep some form of modest dignity about me, in case my poor neighbor or some other unsuspecting soul should be unfortunate enough to witness this blatant show of public indecency. I knew my wife would be on her way back by now, but if I could stop her, maybe, just maybe, something would be left of the detector. When I saw her round the curve in a cloud of dust, I let loose of the robe, and threw up both hands to stop her, as I sprinted towards the van in all my glory. Her eyes widened in shock, and at first I didn't think she was going to stop, until she realized that yes, indeed, this was her husband streaking down the road!
I could hear something being drug behind the van, and could see bits and pieces of broken black parts strewn down the road. Hanging out of the back door was an extremely stretched and dirty headphone cable, and dangling from that was a small badly mutilated green circuit board. That and a few frayed wires was all that was left of my beautiful White's detector. I thought I was going to get sick. I opened the back door to see which detector I had lost, and was shocked to find both the XLT and 6000 still there! It was the White's/Koss $100 headphones that had been dragged to death. Breathless, I thanked the Lord for his infinite mercy, and started laughing at the whole absurd turn of events.
We had a good laugh, and a lengthy explanation to my daughter of what a metal detector looks like!
Vernon[/size]
By Vernon Cross
[size=medium]I was walking around groggily, sipping on my first cup of morning coffee when I heard my wife start the van. She drives the one mile to the mailbox and back each morning on our dusty Alaskan gravel road to get the mail. Just after she left, my four year old daughter Sarah turned from the window and calmly told me that mama was dragging my metal detector down the road on a curly black rope... ever get that instant sick feeling, accompanied by uncontrollable anxiety?
"Are you sure it was Daddy's metal detector?" I ask. "Yep," she said. "Was the back door on the van open?" I asked. "Nope, just your metal detector, dragging down the road on a curly black rope." was her frank reply.
I keep my White's XLT and 6000 Di Pro just inside the backdoors of the van. We also put groceries in there when we go shopping, which we had just done the night before. My three girls help unload groceries, and are not good at closing the back door when they 're done, so the story is starting to take on more validity every second.
I grabbed the phone and tried calling her on the cell phone, but I knew she wouldn't have it on for the mail run. I couldn't get the picture out of my mind of my detector bouncing, skipping, and being yanked along a mile of gravel road by the headphone cable tangled around the handle.
Wearing nothing but a white terry cloth robe, I yanked on my unlaced hunting boots, and hit the door at a run. Down the driveway, and out onto the gravel road I ran, showing an embarrassing amount of hairy bare legs. Clutching the robe together at the (ahem) waist, I tried to keep some form of modest dignity about me, in case my poor neighbor or some other unsuspecting soul should be unfortunate enough to witness this blatant show of public indecency. I knew my wife would be on her way back by now, but if I could stop her, maybe, just maybe, something would be left of the detector. When I saw her round the curve in a cloud of dust, I let loose of the robe, and threw up both hands to stop her, as I sprinted towards the van in all my glory. Her eyes widened in shock, and at first I didn't think she was going to stop, until she realized that yes, indeed, this was her husband streaking down the road!
I could hear something being drug behind the van, and could see bits and pieces of broken black parts strewn down the road. Hanging out of the back door was an extremely stretched and dirty headphone cable, and dangling from that was a small badly mutilated green circuit board. That and a few frayed wires was all that was left of my beautiful White's detector. I thought I was going to get sick. I opened the back door to see which detector I had lost, and was shocked to find both the XLT and 6000 still there! It was the White's/Koss $100 headphones that had been dragged to death. Breathless, I thanked the Lord for his infinite mercy, and started laughing at the whole absurd turn of events.
We had a good laugh, and a lengthy explanation to my daughter of what a metal detector looks like!
Vernon[/size]