BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER...
>
> Dear Wife:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
> I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
> it.
>
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
> quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,
> had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
> all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore;
> you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
>
> You're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm
> gone.
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
> P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
> Virginia together! Have a great life!
>
> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
>
> Dear Ex-Husband -
>
> Nothing has made my day more complete than receiving your letter. It's
> true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
> good man is a far cry from what you've been.
>
> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
> griping. Too bad that it doesn't work.
>
> I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> came to mind was 'You look just like a girl l!' Since my mother raised me
> not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
>
> And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
> price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
> coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
> morning.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
> bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
> Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
>
> I hope you have the fulfilling life you have always wanted. My lawyer said
> that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
>
> So take care.
>
> Signed,
>
> You're Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell and Free!
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
>
> Dear Wife:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
> I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
> it.
>
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
> quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,
> had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
> all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore;
> you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
>
> You're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm
> gone.
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
> P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
> Virginia together! Have a great life!
>
> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
>
> Dear Ex-Husband -
>
> Nothing has made my day more complete than receiving your letter. It's
> true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
> good man is a far cry from what you've been.
>
> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
> griping. Too bad that it doesn't work.
>
> I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> came to mind was 'You look just like a girl l!' Since my mother raised me
> not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
>
> And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
> price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
> coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
> morning.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
> bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
> Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
>
> I hope you have the fulfilling life you have always wanted. My lawyer said
> that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
>
> So take care.
>
> Signed,
>
> You're Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell and Free!
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
