Somehow the topic of being altar boys came up on the Views Forum, you should see Arts picture! But here is my submission....
I'd take some unblessed hosts to school and pass them out! Man the nuns would have killed me if I had gotten caught! One thing that I also did was hit my buddies on the adams apple with the paten at communion!
One time this crazy next door neighbor of mine died, she was big and mean, and I hated her, and was glad she was dead, but I was still afraid of her. The priest asked if I wanted to serve the funeral, I said no, but my Mom made me do it! Yikes! So I am standing there with the incense burner at the head of the casket, my best friend had the incense, and instead of dumping in 2 scoops, he dumped in like 10 of them! Everybody was coughing, I was laughing, the priest was PISSED! But it was funny!
I also served a lot of masses for VietNam soldiers that had been killed, very sad.
Another time, at the end of mass, we marched down the isle to the back of church, the priest(same one) said to go wake up this little old lady, i walked over there, and she was just sitting there with her eyes closed and hands folded as if praying, I nudged her, but she didn't budge! Then the ushers saw this and came over and moved me away, she was dead as a door nail! I went back and told the priest, he started laughing! I think he knew and was paying me back! (But what a way to go eh!)
One other thing that I vaguely remember, when I first started so it must have been 1964, was a funeral that I served at, that President Johnson came to. It was a big deal, but for the life of me I cannot remember who that dead official was! I want to say that the name was McCarthyor something like that, but I don't know.
I'd take some unblessed hosts to school and pass them out! Man the nuns would have killed me if I had gotten caught! One thing that I also did was hit my buddies on the adams apple with the paten at communion!
One time this crazy next door neighbor of mine died, she was big and mean, and I hated her, and was glad she was dead, but I was still afraid of her. The priest asked if I wanted to serve the funeral, I said no, but my Mom made me do it! Yikes! So I am standing there with the incense burner at the head of the casket, my best friend had the incense, and instead of dumping in 2 scoops, he dumped in like 10 of them! Everybody was coughing, I was laughing, the priest was PISSED! But it was funny!
I also served a lot of masses for VietNam soldiers that had been killed, very sad.
Another time, at the end of mass, we marched down the isle to the back of church, the priest(same one) said to go wake up this little old lady, i walked over there, and she was just sitting there with her eyes closed and hands folded as if praying, I nudged her, but she didn't budge! Then the ushers saw this and came over and moved me away, she was dead as a door nail! I went back and told the priest, he started laughing! I think he knew and was paying me back! (But what a way to go eh!)
One other thing that I vaguely remember, when I first started so it must have been 1964, was a funeral that I served at, that President Johnson came to. It was a big deal, but for the life of me I cannot remember who that dead official was! I want to say that the name was McCarthyor something like that, but I don't know.
Couldn't wake the dead, Hun?